09
Sep
08

The Truth About Being Single

Everyone says I should be blogging. It’s what you’re supposed to do in the professional word to get your name out there. Funny enough, I won’t be sharing my name on this blog. But, for every other single girl out there who is going through what I’m going through, I’m sharing my stories. Because I think about being single….a lot.

Some random thoughts on this topic….

Sometimes I lie to people and tell them how much I enjoy being single. It feels like that’s what I’m supposed to say, you know? Because Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda made it OK to be single – and showed us how wonderful life can be when you have your true girlfriends and no man in your life. Fair enough. I know there are people out there who are perfectly OK being single and would be happy if that’s how they stayed for the rest of their lives. I admire those people. Really. But here’s the thing: I’m no longer sorry to admit that I am NOT one of those people. I GET LONELY. I mean really – I will give $100 dollars to anyone who can introduce me to a group of 40-something women who are living the life of the girls from Sex and the City.

I think back to a course I took during University called “The Single Girl in 20th Century Fiction and Film” (yes – it WAS a real seminar course – a great one actually!) We talked a lot about Sex and the City; how much we love it and how empowering it is to woman because they talk about sex, and have sex, and date and enjoy being single. Then one day, a girl in my class made a very sobering point. She said, “We all love Sex and the City. But let’s be honest. The truth is that we only like it because it’s not us. We’re so far removed from it right now and although we love the characters, we don’t want to be them when we’re 35 years old, sleeping with random guys, spending money on cosmos and partying until 4am.” It was one of the scariest truths I had ever heard.

What I hate the most, is that I feel guilty admitting that I don’t like being single. I was raised to be an incredibly strong and independent woman. My mom is one, and my grandma was one. And I AM ONE. But sometimes it feels as though strong, independent women can’t admit to being lonely. And I have good friends; great friends in fact. I own my own condo and have a great job that I love. I’m very close to my family and generally happy with everything else in my life.  I don’t NEED a man in my life to make me happy. However, my last relationship ended almost four years ago – and although I don’t regret ending it (he was not the one for me), I miss the cuddles, the calls, the kisses, the dates, his family and friends, the sex – and the moments I appreciated that someone fell in love with me.

At the end of all of this, I DO believe there is hope. That I will find someone. Through the online dating, blind dating, speed dating, random meetings -whatever it takes. So here I go.

Having finished this first post, I’m off to watch The Hills*.

*NOTE: Benefit #1 to being single: no guy to make fun of me for watching The Hills or other fluffy shows.

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7 Responses to “The Truth About Being Single”


  1. 1 scifibutterfly
    September 21, 2008 at 11:22 pm

    I am also an incredibly strong and independent woman. And I too get lonely- hence the amount of time I am able to spend writing my blog and reading other’s.

    “We all love Sex and the City. But let’s be honest. The truth is that we only like it because it’s not us. We’re so far removed from it right now and although we love the characters, we don’t want to be them when we’re 35 years old, sleeping with random guys, spending money on cosmos and partying until 4am.”

    Why is this truth so scary for me? I will be 34 next month, so that means I am not “so far removed”. I’ve got 13 months left before I become them. Well, not them, a “poor man’s version” of them. They are hotter with better jobs, clothes, men and apartments.

  2. 2 Kelly
    September 28, 2008 at 2:30 pm

    I loved your posting and I am going to be 40 and am still single myself, never married and I too ended a relationship very long ago and still havent found that right guy, I do have hope one day I will, it does get frustrating and I do so ache for the cuddles and kisses and well to be honest the sex. So it does help to see other girls blogging and sharing their feelings inside too thank you for this post it is very helpful to see that I am not the only one sorta lonely in the singles world.

  3. 3 Single Girl
    September 29, 2008 at 6:41 pm

    I think it’s a step forward when women can admit that they’re lonely sometimes. It’s OK! And I’m not saying that all single women are; I know many that are are perfectly content being single and I think that’s fantastic too. But being lonely doesn’t make us any less strong or any less independent – I think women forget that sometimes…

  4. November 22, 2009 at 5:47 pm

    Very usefull infomation. Thank you.
    Keep it up

  5. April 9, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    A screen over the heads of people holding

  6. December 28, 2012 at 7:20 am

    What’s up, its pleasant post on the topic of media print, we all be familiar with media is a great source of facts.


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