Maybe long-term singleness is in the DNA

Tonight I ran into one of my cousins at the bar. I think M’s a great catch- he has the tall, dark and handsome thing going on, has a great job, definitely has no problem meeting girls and would definitely fall hard for the right one. But, at the age of 29, M’s only been in one (very long and dramatic) serious relationship – same as me. It’s made me start to wonder whether or not I’m genetically pre-dispositioned to be single until “later” in life. After all, it seems to run in my family – on both sides no less.

M. and I aren’t anomalies. My  mom’s always saying that I come from a family of “late bloomers” – none of my cousins (there’s about 20 of us) were ever in a lot of long-term relationships. Most only had 1 or 2 at the absolute most. In addition, many of them didn’t have memorable long-term relationships, or get married, until they were at least 30 or older. Even my mom didn’t get married until she was 25 (and 30 years ago, that was considered late!) On the other side of my family, my cousin had been single for as long as I can remember; I’m pretty sure she only had one boyfriend back in high school. But she’s been busy spending the last ten years working towards her PHD and building a life for herself, and now, at the age of 37, she’s met someone. Within less than a year, she was engaged.

Is it really possible that something like this could be genetic? When you think about it, we definiely inherit traits – I would consider most of the people in my family (and it’s a big one!) to be very sincere, kind, and loyal to a fault. There aren’t many “bad apples” in our family so to speak; for the most part, we all get along and our family relationships are important to us. Given that, I think it would make sense that we’d be looking for a lot of these same things in a long-term partner and wouldn’t settle for any less. It seems to be a common theme amongst my cousins that we don’t fall often, but when we do, we fall hard. Is that really so bad?

When it comes to love, I’m of the “go big, or go home” camp – you have to give 100% if it’s going to be worth it, and you really have to be feelin’ it if you’re going to commit that much to someone. M. and I are both good catches, but we’re not willing to settle for just anyone because we’re lonely. So if that’s in the genetics and/or upbringing, than kudos to our parents. I’m proud to come from a blood line of those who aren’t willing to settle so easily, and am taking solace in the fact that maybe it’s just not my time yet 🙂


2 Responses to “Maybe long-term singleness is in the DNA”

  1. 1 A Mom
    September 22, 2008 at 5:52 pm

    My advice is listen to your mother….

  2. January 7, 2014 at 10:44 pm

    Wonderful web page. Many helpful tips below. I am transmitting them to 3 pals ans also revealing around delectable. And indeed, appreciate it on the effort!

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