all about chemistry

So, another blind date for me this week. And to be honest, probably the last one for awhile. I need a break from the making small talk, sizing people up, and Starbucks coffee shops (as much as I love Starbucks).This one is with K’s friend R. so at least I feel as though someone thinks that maybe we’ll be a good match.

Now, I know that blind dating works for a lot of people, but I will say that I’ve not had much luck so far and I’ve been on at lesat 5-7 blind dates (I would count online dating in with those as well, although that doesn’t include the dozen or so crazies I met at Speed Dating). My thing about blind dating is this: chemistry. It’s there, or it’s not. Having said that, I don’t expect sparks to fly immediately as soon as I meet someone. But if I don’t at least leave a date feeling like a) I am really interested in finding out more about this person,  b) I really don’t want this date to end – can’t wait to go out again, or c) I’m ready to jump your bones – then it’s usually more like “It really wouldn’t matter to me whether or not I ever saw you again.”

Lots of people have given me the advice that “you need to give it another chance” and I have done so, for quite a few of those dates – sometimes 2 or 3 times over, and with a completely open mind. Trust me, with some of those guys, I WISH that there had been something more to go on because I can honestly say that I’ve never been on a horrible blind date. But when a guy attempts to kiss you after your third date and all you’re thinking is “Oh lord…what can I do to get out of this kiss?!” (and I’ve been there), then it makes me start to wonder whether or not I should have just gone with my initial gut instinct after the first date! This is why I’m of the mind that there needs to be some kind of a…connection (a word that is SO abundantly overused thanks to the that ABC hit “The Bachelor”), but that doesn’t make it any less true. You know if there is something there when you meet someone. Whether it’s sparks or just…that something else – the “zsa zsa zoo” as Carrie Bradshaw would say. I have felt it before and know that it exists.

This doesn’t mean I’m going to stop going on dates if I don’t feel chemistry right away (there’s a difference between chemistry and a connection, I think) and I know that sometimes, it takes a couple of dates with someone for things to really get going. But, I’m also not going to waste my time when I know it isn’t there. So – am I going into tomorrow night’s date with R. with high expectations? Definitely not. But if we just happen to “connect” than I expect to be pleasantly surprised.


6 Responses to “all about chemistry”

  1. 1 Cat
    September 25, 2008 at 2:25 pm

    I know all about the needs a break from dating bit. I have been on a small hiatus myself. Have a date this weekend with someone I met on line which to me is a blind date as well. It is a very tiring thing to constantly be doing. Good luck!

  2. 2 Single Girl
    September 26, 2008 at 5:38 pm

    Isn’t it exhausting!? Good luck on your date!

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