Maybe the grass isn’t always greener…

Before I start my thoughts on this post, an update on the JD scenario. FINALLY got an email from him late last night. I was starting to a) give up hope, and b) think that if it takes a guy this long to shoot out a brief introductory email, he’s not worth it. I’m glad he finally wrote, b/c I wasn’t ready to give up on this one! Short story – JD sent a cute intro of himself and sounds as nice in his email as I’ve been told he is. He told me a bit about himself (not much I didn’t already know from L) and asked a couple of good questions about me. Very articulate and well-written email (no spelling/grammar mistakes either! Picky, I know – but as a former English major, this is a HUGE pet peeve for me!) So – I plan to write back soon and hope that we can arrange a group-type date in the next few weeks.

So – this past weekend I got together with my best friends B and C at their place. They invited another couple that they are friends with, who coincidentally, I went to high school with. I wasn’t really friends with this couple (D & J) and to be honest, we definitely didn’t hang out in the same circles (ie. me in the music, academic, “nerdy” clique, and them in the football, partying, popular clique.) Of course, high school is over and we’re all adults, but whenever I hang out with them I feel as though I’ve time warped right back to those days – and they haven’t changed at all.

All this being said, D & J have been dating FOREVER. They started dating in Grade 10 and just got married last year. This means that they have been together for over 10 years. As I was regailing the group about my dating adventures, woes, and upcoming plans last Saturday night, I could have sworn that there was a bit of jealousy behind the eyes of D & J. And, they started being inquisitive about my dating history, what I’ve been up to recently in the dating world, and were joking about what “dating” is really all about! J joked that she had never really been on a “real” date before (let’s face it – you can barely DRIVE in grade 10, let alone afford to go out for a nice dinner) but I could tell that there was part of her that was disappointed that she’d never really been able to experience what a “grown-up date” is all about.

If you think about it, D & J will never have the opportunity to “re-live” a real first date. They’ve only gotten to experience those exciting butterflies, excitement, and honeymoon-type “crush” phase ONCE in their lives – they probably never will again. Since the age of 15 or 16, there’s never been any real “mystery” for them. No anticipation waiting to meet someone who will just sweep you off your feet – they were settled into a comfort zone before they even left high school! This is not to say that high school sweethearts can’t make it – I know plenty who are just as happy, or more so, than those who “dated around”. Some of those couples are meant to be no matter when or where they meet, and I don’t doubt D & J’s love for each other or the success of their relationship. But, I have to say that I did take a bit of satisfaction from the fact that they seemed a little bit jealous of my dating experiences. And for a brief moment, I was actually excited to be  living all the excitement that comes with a “single” life, instead of having had everything decided for me and the mystery gone at age 16.

Of course, dating has it’s down sides. My blog posts have been filled with reasons why I’d rather be in a relationship than be alone. But, at the end of the day – I still have the mystery, excitement and anticipation of knowing that the “best” part of my life is yet to come; that there’s still someone out there who I’ll get to share all these amazing things with. And I get to have that “first-date/honeymoon phase/crush” period all over again!

Despite my loneliness, I’ve had a great couple years and have really established myself with a wonderful job I enjoy, the purchase of my own condo, and an amazing traveling adventure all over Europe; I’ve experienced tons of what life has to offer – no worrying about sharing or agreeing how to spend money and no other person to consider but myself. That is one thing that high school sweethearts can’t say – that they’ve been 100% selfish and have lived life for themselves without having to consider what anyone else wants or doesn’t want. They haven’t gotten to enjoy those butterflies of anticipation that comes with meeting someone new – someone that could totally, and utterly surpass your past relationship and make you see how much more amazing and happy you could feel. Not to mention feeling what it’s like to kiss or have sex with someone new – not that it’s better or worse than what long-term couples have, but it’s something – someone – different. It’s nice to experience the good, the bad, and the ugly (physically and emotionally) to really make you appreciate what you have when you find it.

So, I guess this is one of my “less-cynical-about-being-single” posts. It’s important that we step back from our loneliness once and awhile to see things from the other side, and understand that that grass isn’t always greener on the other side…


2 Responses to “Maybe the grass isn’t always greener…”

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