Lonely in a Crowd

First of all, Happy Canadian Thanksgiving! Hope that everyone enjoyed a great weekend of good food, good wine, and good company.

I think most people who have been single for a long time would agree that that there’s something about the holidays that makes being single…well..suck. It’s more than just an “I’m-bummed-to-be-single-today” time. It’s especially hard when everyone around you HAS that special person, and you feel like you’re celebrating alone. I’ve found the holidays to be especially tough for me these last couple of years. Despite the fact that I have the most amazing friends and family (and I DID have a great time hanging out with my great group of friends this holiday weekend), I often end up feeling more lonely and alone when I’m in a crowd full of people I know -strange, right?

I know that makes no sense but I really can’t explain it. And my friends and family actually ARE …THE best. Every now and then though, I find myself feeling a little bit like Rachel from “Friends.” You know the one where Monica and Chandler get engaged? And Rachel and Monica get in a fight because Rachel starts making out with Ross in the hallway? And Rachel says to Monica: “I am really, really happy for you guys. But you getting married, just reminds me of the fact that I’m not. I’m not even close.” Well, I guess that’s how I feel sometimes. Out of my close group of 6 friends (plus me), I am the only one not engaged or married. Of course, it goes without saying that I love them all to death and I couldn’t be happier for them. But sometimes it’s difficult for me to deal with the emotion of feeling like I’ve been left behind….that everyone is moving forward with a partner, and I’m still left, waiting to be picked like the last kid in gym class.

But, let me interrupt my own pity party to say one thing – THEY (my friends) don’t make me feel this way; it’s entirely my own issue. They don’t make me feel left out or uncomfortable. They don’t flaunt PDA or make me feel like a 3rd (or 7th) wheel. They always include me in what’s going on, despite the fact that having me there throws off the teams for games night, or I need a separate bill for the meal -LOL. They never think NOT to include me. I am lucky that way – there’ so many people who meet new “couple” friends and end up leaving their single friends out because they’re afraid he/she will feel awkward. Like I said, my friends are the best. And even though it’s difficult to b alone in a crowd of couples, I wouldn’t give up my friends for anything.

So yes – I’m giving into a pity party this weekend. Sometimes, you just feel bummed about being single. But, thank God for my Mom. Anytime I start to feel down or lonely about being single (and it happens more than I’d like to admit!), she lets me cry on her shoulder without getting annoyed. Even when I start to feel silly and stupid about about it (as I do almost every time), she still lets me talk about it. And when I get to that point where I start to think I’m going to be single for the rest of my life, she believes in it for me. So – shout-out to my Mom! You’re the best 🙂


6 Responses to “Lonely in a Crowd”

  1. 1 peacedovelove
    October 13, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    I totally understand the feeling of being lonely during the holidays….they are always bittersweet for me. I know I shouldn’t but sometimes I would just love to skip over the whole holiday season all together so I am not reminded of my singleness! Maybe this year I will take a new approach and actually buy a Christmas Tree! And yes thank god for moms advice!

  2. 2 Mom
    October 13, 2008 at 7:04 pm

    Your welcome sweetheart! And of course I’m sitting here crying which I’m sure you knew would happen. I believe in you, you need to believe in you!
    I love you!

  3. October 13, 2008 at 7:53 pm

    Hate to say it, but you’re right peacedove. As much as I love the holidays, sometimes I wish we could just skip over them too. Especially the winter ones – Christmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day…they’re so hard when you’re alone. Although, I did decorate my place last year for Christmas and I found that immersing myself in it definitely distracted me. Go for the Christmas tree!

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