20
Oct
08

And the verdict is….

I appreciate you loyal followers who have been asking about my date on Saturday night. I’d go on the record as saying that I’m undecided on this one, which is more than I can say for my past blind dates however! JD was very smart and actually knew how to make conversation…a skill I find lacking in many single men these days (the ones I’ve met anyway). We DID have a lot in common, and got to talking about our backgrounds, our work, our families and even politics.

Was he cute you ask? Well – I wouldn’t say he was unattractive, but I wouldn’t say I was attracted to him either. Was there chemistry? Not really – but there was enough good conversation that I’m definitely willing to give this one another go and see what might happen. We made loose plans to catch the movie “W” in the next few weeks, and will be seeing each other at L’s charity event as well. I’m taking this one slow – and if the connection comes, it comes. If it doesn’t, I’m not going to force it. I’ve been in the situation where it’s taken me months to build an attraction to someone (my Ex – we worked together before we started dating) but I’ve also been in the situation, on several occasions, of feeling that instant chemistry/connection/attraction (whatever you want to call it). Does one make for a stronger relationship foundation than the other? I don’t know….

However, I can honestly say that if I hadn’t been on so many dates before JD, I’m not sure I’d really be giving this one another go. I’m just at the point now, where I’m starting to think there’s something wrong with me that I’m not attracted to any of the guys I’ve met….what is holding me back from feeling that….’thing’?? The ‘je ne sais quoi’?? I’m convinced it must be me. No one goes on this many dates and comes out the other end empty handed. It’s especially frutrating when I see all these people hitting it off with their first dates, or developing instant crushes!! Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had a crush on someone??? Two and a half years!!! The worst part is, I haven’t been able to get that last crush out of my head…but he’s a story for another blog. I just find that once I fall for someone, my feelings for that person don’t go away until I find someone else that I feel that same way, or stronger, about….it’s been that way since my first real crush in the fifth grade (who I didn’t fully get over until high school…ridiculous. But this is what I mean when I say I fall hard!! I’m hopeless!)

Part of the problem is, I know what I want. I don’t want to settle for less than what I want. I don’t think my expectations are unreasonable…at all. And my friends agree with me, so I know I’m not asking too much. Nobody’s perfect, which I recognize and understand. But I’m looking for someone who is perfect for me. Where does that leave me? How do you ‘lower’ your expectations, and open yourself up to opportunities that aren’t what you really want, without feeling like you’re settling? This is not a rhetorical question – I need answers! It feels like a balancing act between my expectations and my reality…what should tip the scale?

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1 Response to “And the verdict is….”


  1. 1 niecey24
    October 22, 2008 at 1:49 pm

    Part of the problem is, I know what I want. I don’t want to settle for less than what I want. This is not a problem at all. This is great news and a great approach. I can’t remember where I heard this but they say that time and experience actually make you more picky because you know what it is that you do and do not want. I’d much rather be single and loveless as a result of high standards than be in a relationship and still loveless as a result of being….um maybe desperate or just plain ol’ dumb. lol. Nice entry.


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