09
Nov
08

Yes. No. Maybe…

I am a very indecisive person in general. So when it comes to dating, I feel as though my indecisiveness is magnified 100%. I don’t know if it’s because I’m too picky, or because I’m afraid of getting hurt, or because I just haven’t met another person that I’ve fallen really head over heels for.

Having spent a bit more time with JD tonight at the charity event, I can honestly say that JD is a “Yes.No.Maybe” kind of guy for me. I literally feel like I change my mind about him everytime I see or talk to him. My question is: how long can he stay a “Yes.No.Maybe” guy until I have to make a decision? The last thing I want to do is lead someone on, but on the other hand, I don’t want to get out too soon before I’m really sure. We’ve made soft plans to go out for dinner soon, which will be our third date.indecisive1

There’s something to be said for feeling “pressure” on the third date. It always feels like that’s the critical time when you choose to move forward or stop. At this point, I have no idea what I want to do. I’m still not sure I’m attracted to JD – do I want to kiss him? Not really – but I do enjoy spending time with him and I like that we have so much in common. On the other hand, I don’t want to force this if something is not there, and that is my other fear; that I’m so lonely, and he is such a great guy who seems so right for me on paper, that I’ll just ‘settle’ for him, for now. And that’s not really fair to him or me.

You know what else isn’t fair? The last guy I had a crush on is still on my mind. Which is horrible, b/c we haven’t seen each other in over two years, have only had some sporadic email communications, and he has made it pretty clear by his inaction that he’s not interested in me that way. But, I fell SO HARD for this one, and I feel guilty that if he were to come along tomorrow, I’d have no problems or second thoughts about ditching JD all together. Someone needs to come along who will surpass that last crush – it’s always the way that I’ve worked. I’ve honestly only had about a handful of serious crushes in my life, and until one is surpassed by the other, I have a hard time letting go. JD is not quite at that stage yet, but maybe he’ll get there – who knows….Until then, is it fair for me to keep this up? How many dates do I get before I have to chalk it up to a crush, or no chemistry?

I’m realizing after writing this that I am slowly going crazy and am WAY overthinking this…yes, no or maybe?

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