Don’t think. Just do.

the_thinkersToday I had coffee with my guy friend J-Ro. I love talking to him because not only is he one of the very few single guys I know, he tells it like it is and isn’t passive aggressive like some guys can be. Our conversations always end up reverting back to our dating lives (or lack-there-of) and it’s nice to have a single guy who can give me good dating advice. There’s no pressure with J-Ro – we’re just friends and it’s nice to have that perspective.

I was telling J-Ro about my dates with JD and my concerns about not feeling the attraction, and in typical J-Ro fashion, he doled out some great advice: a) stop thinking about it so much (duh!), and b) why dont’ you try kissing him FIRST, and THEN decide whether or not you feel any chemistry? I’ve been so concerned about not feeling like I wanted to kiss JD, that I never though about what might happen if I did. It’s like that episode of FRIENDS where Monica breaks-up with Pete, the wonderful, sweet millionaire, because she’s not attracted to him. Then, they kiss in the kitchen of that restaurant – and BAM! (Yes – I recognize life is not a TV show but go with me on this one….)

The consensous of all of my friends (and my Mom) is that I am totally overthinking this ‘no attraction’ thing (typical ‘me’ behavior). Their advice is to make a conscious effort to stop thinking about it, and just go with the flow; no expectations, no worries. An easy thing to say (I know they’re right), but a very hard thing for someone like me to do. But – in the interest of staying hopeful about this opportunity, I need to take their advice. JD called me tonight and we are going for dinner on Saturday – ‘date night’. Hopefully a few glasses of wine will help me to bring to life the thoughts of the brilliant actor, Sir Anthony Hopkins:

“We are dying from overthinking. We are slowly killing ourselves by thinking about everything. Think. Think. Think. You can never trust the human mind anyway. It’s a death trap.”

Well said, Anthony – well said.


7 Responses to “Don’t think. Just do.”

  1. 1 Cuz
    November 12, 2008 at 12:41 pm

    I’ve been thinking about you this week and how I needed to send off a note telling you to turn off the brain and lead with the heart. It’s a dangerous thing that overthinking! The next thing I know, there is your blog post. so glad to hear you’re going out on Saturday and can’t wait to hear about it. Kiss the guy already!! And definitely drink some wine!

  2. November 12, 2008 at 6:07 pm

    Thanks Cuz 🙂 The advice seems to be unanimous! Good thing we’re seeing each other on Sunday so I can fill you in! Looking forward to it!

  3. 3 goddessathena
    November 13, 2008 at 12:45 am

    Hey there,

    I’ve been reading your blog albeit silently for awhile now. I must admit you have some interesting insights in the dating scene. I come from a completely different dating environment or to say the least an entirely ‘non-existing’ scene. Obviously, I’m single too and I’m living in a rather small but challenging and demanding little city (in Asia, more accurately Borneo). You posts have prompt me to start off a little bit of this and that about the dating area where I live. I’ve been blogging on and of for awhile but currently temporarily blogging here (see link), although I haven’t been very good at blogging off late.

    After reading this post, I just knew I had to say something! =) Go with the flow girl! I agree with your cuz, stop thinking too much and follow your heart. Apparently, I’ve given a very useful advice to a cousin of mine not too long ago about dating. When you meet someone, stop thinking that he’s a guy, think of him as another human being. Get to know him as your fellow human being. Once that is going…everything else will fall into place. She did exactly what I adviced her and now she’s seeing someone really wonderful! =D Hope this helps.


  4. 4 MOM
    November 13, 2008 at 7:26 pm

    You already know what I think, but I’m going to say it again! Stop thinking and start enjoying!

  5. November 13, 2008 at 8:59 pm

    Hi Dee,

    Thanks for your comment! Glad you’re enjoying the blog. You are of the same camp as everyone else – I need to just enjoy! I am now looking forward to my date on Saturday night to telling you all how it turns out.

    I would definitely encourage you to “get out there” in terms of the dating scene. Someone with nothing, has nothing to lose 🙂 I have seen many of the ‘non-traditional’ ways (ie. speed dating, blind dating, online dating) work for many people. I’m not sure what it’s like in Borneo compared to Ontario, Canada, but I am staying optimistic that there are good guys to be found everywhere 🙂 Good luck!

    P.S. I didn’t see a link to your blog..I’d love to check it out!
    P.P.S. You should really check out the book “How to be Single” – it’s a great look/perspective about single women all over the world…

  6. November 13, 2008 at 8:59 pm

    Thanks Mom. You’re right – as always 🙂

  7. 7 Dee
    November 13, 2008 at 11:13 pm

    OMGOSH! What was I thinking! I’m so sorry I didn’t link it the first time. Here it is now. This blog is suppose to be temporary until I’ve updated the domain for my other existing blog. Shucks…guess this will do for now. 😀

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