Slim Pickins

The other night, the movie “Along Came Polly” was on TV. I didn’t realize until seeing it again that JD is pretty much the spitting image of Ben Stiller. Not just in looks, but in his mannerisms too. A little bit on the geeky side, rambles a bit, somewhat awkward…

When I went to the movies the other night with B & C, I mentioned this to them. B’s response was: “Really? I think Ben Stiller is pretty cute!”, which was followed by my “Are you serious?” face. She said, “I can’t believe you think Ben Stiller is ugly!”, to which I responded with: “Whoa. Don’t put words in my  mouth. I didn’t say he was ugly. I just don’t find him attractive.”  And for the record, I DO believe that there IS a difference. But then, B said to me (insert eye-role): “You’re just too picky.”  PAUSE.

Perhaps she just got me on a wrong night, but this really pissed me off at that particular moment in time. She started going on about how I supposedly think that I’m going to find love at first sight, and that I expect it to be sparks and fireworks instantly. Ummm….who said anything about that!?!? Never once did I say or imply that’s what I expected. I am a grown-up after all, and I know better. I’m not living in a fairytale. Sorry if I don’t want to jump the bones of every guy I go on a date with. So sue me. And by the way, did I mention that I worked with her brother for four months before we even went on a date or I found him even remotely attractive!? Of course I told her this, which she just shrugged off.

And on another note, umm….shouldn’t I be picky!? What happened to “you should never settle”? I guess if I wanted an OK guy, with a medium personality, who sometimes talked, and kind of cared about me, and who kissed me like he was more like my relative than my lover – then I wouldn’t need to waste time being “picky”. Sounds great – sign me up! (Insert sarcasm here.) I know B. didn’t mean anything by her comment, and I’m probably being too sensitive. But it did come out a bit judgmental – and until you’ve walked a mile in a single girl’s shoes (for four years no less), you can’t fully understand how difficult it can be sometimes.

I guess it’s just frustrating to hear “you’re too picky” when I feel like I’m scraping the barrel to even date a guy who meets the most minimum of expectations like: carry a conversation, have a job, do more with his spare time than play video games or get drunk/high with his buddies (yes – for real). Are those expectations really so high? Do I not deserve to be picky? I would even argue that I am NOT picky – I am REASONABLE.

So, before telling your friends that they’re too picky, think about what they deserve. And remember that maybe….the pickins are just slim.


9 Responses to “Slim Pickins”

  1. 1 Tash
    December 4, 2008 at 4:45 am

    Hey, I LOVE your blog. I can relate to pretty much everything that you write about.

    It feels great to know that someone else is in the same boat too. 🙂 Thanks.

    Anyways, have you heard of the Myers-Briggs test? It’s a personality type test and I’m an INFJ. Figuring that out helped me realize why I seem to be finding it difficult finding a significant other. So, why don’t you take the test? Might give you some peace of mind?

  2. 2 Caroline
    December 4, 2008 at 10:14 pm

    I am all about being picky — I think it’s a must. Otherwise, it feels too much like you’re dating or with someone just to not be alone. And then it’s never for the right reasons.

    Keep on being picky — there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. 🙂

  3. December 4, 2008 at 10:24 pm

    Thanks Caroline! I think you’re absolutely right!

  4. December 5, 2008 at 2:39 pm

    Thanks Tash! I agree that it’s always nice to know that others are in the same boat and can relate. I have done the Myers Briggs test but forget what I am…I definitely start with “I” though – LOL!

  5. 5 Dee
    December 14, 2008 at 9:09 pm

    Ugh girl, I know where you’re coming from. Everyone I know or meet tells me I’m picky too, not to mention ‘fussy as hell’. My respond? I’m not picky, I just know what I’m looking for. *rolls eyes* Like you said, do you settle for a mediocre? I think alot of people forget that ‘chemistry’ is important part of dating, and yes eventhough it doesn’t happen instantly, it will grow due course. But how long are you willing to wait for that ‘chemistry’ to happen?

    Your expectations aren’t high at all. Just stick to what you’re looking for, he’s out there somewhere, I’m sure of it. =) Chin up!

  6. December 14, 2008 at 10:00 pm

    Aww..thanks Dee 🙂 I feel the same way. It might be tough now to hold out for everything (including the chemistry) but at the end of the day, I know it will be worth it. I know what I’m looking for too, and I know he MUST be out there! Thanks for the encouragement!

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