09
Dec
08

A Band-Aid Fix

Today I got thinking that there should be such a thing as “temporary dating”; a band-aid solution for those of us who have felt the loneliness of singledom for too long and and need to remember what it feels like to be in a relationship. This is not necessarily the same as a fling, although those can be good too. More so, I think that temporary dating should give you the opportunity to be in a ‘relationship’ with someone who you’re comfortable with, get along with, and are attracted too – but you both know that things aren’t going anywhere in the long run. However, for an agreed upon, designated period of time – you are a couple (hence the difference of a no-strings-attached fling or a ‘friends-with-benefits’ thing, although, I know both options definitely work for some).band-aid3

Think about that guy in your life that you know isn’t the guy for you. Maybe because you’ve dated and it didn’t work out, maybe because you’re just friends, or maybe because you’re head over heels for someone who isn’t into commitment. For those of us who are craving all those things that come with a relationship (the cuddling, the sharing, the long talks, the kissing…and yes, the sex), this seems like the perfect band-aid. You both agree that for X amount of time, you don’t see other people, and do everything that couples do. When that time is up? You’ve had your fix, feel rescued from the feeling of eternal singledom, and have regained your optimism about being ready to rip off the band-aid and move on to find the guy who IS the one; you happily part ways. Of course, terms and conditions of this ‘temporary relationship’ would need to be negotiated. But, at the end of the day – it seems like a win win.

Of course, nothing on paper (especially when emotions are involved) is ever as easy in reality. And yes, I’ll admit that this idea has stemmed from my good/bad/complicated friendship with my ex;  someone I feel comfortable with, have always had a ‘connection’ with, and yet – know that never in a million years would I ever want to end up with him in the long-run. But, would he be a suitable band-aid after being single for 4 years? Absolutely. Will I do it?  Not likely. But if  ‘temporary dating’ was a practical, uncomplicated and acceptable practice, I’d probably be all over it. It’s hard to be single for this long and not start to second guess a past relationship, especially when you haven’t had a good one since, or haven’t even come close to it.  You wonder if maybe that was as good as it gets, or that maybe you’ve both grown-up and changed and things would be different. Or that the reason you haven’t met anyone else is because maybe he WAS the one. Luckily, I know better and have friends and family to snap me out of it this thinking pattern and make sure I didn’t waste my time with “Ex” anymore – and being friends with him means I’m constantly reminded why he could NEVER be the one for me (a big advantage to the being friends thing). I guess I’m just hoping that my loneliness will heal on it’s own soon, and I won’t be tempted by a band-aid solution.

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4 Responses to “A Band-Aid Fix”


  1. 1 Niecey C
    December 17, 2008 at 9:33 pm

    So if the dating life were a stage, a band-aid fix can be likened to purposely casting the wrong person for the role and you guys both read from scripts that each has crafted for the other. Action!!! Yeah, I’ve been tempted to do that a few times myself but it would just be someone to buy the time, which would result in a complete waste of time. I was always told that Mr. Wrong will always show up before Mr. Right does and that as long as Mr. Wrong is in spot light, front and center stage, Mr Right is confined to the side lines or back stage. I’d rather just perform monologues for the time being. 🙂

  2. December 17, 2008 at 10:01 pm

    That is an AWESOME analogy Niecey – and so true!!! I love it. And you’re so right about keeping Mr. Wrong in the spotlight, which is what I’m starting to realize. I’m with you – monologues it is!

  3. February 22, 2009 at 12:41 pm

    I can so relate to this post! WOW I need a band aid right now!

  4. February 23, 2009 at 8:21 pm

    Ha ha! Don’t we all, colomitalia!


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