17
Dec
08

Is it a Single Girl’s world?

I’m determined that at some point I’m going to write a post about all the advantages to being single. I know that there are many. But to be brutally honest, most of the time, I find being single very lonely. Around the holiday season, I find it especially tough.lonely

I’ve been single most of my life. At (almost) 27, I’ve  had one serious relationship that lasted about two years. I have never been the ‘boy-crazy’ type, but I’m not a wallflower either. I’ve dated around. The funny thing is, I’m not so sure that it’s the ‘being single’ that bothers me, as much as it’s the fact that I’m bothered by the fact that it…bothers me! Does that make sense? In a world of Sex and the City, female presidential nominees, and chick-lit, aren’t we supposed to embrace our inner single girl? To be independent, strong and happy on our own? To have it all? To focus on our careers, and our friends, and our interests, instead of wishing for a husband or partner? It feels expected now that single girls have to be happy about being single, or else they’re seen as being some kind of ‘house-wife wannabe’ stuck in the 50’s (and just for the record…that could not be further from who I am!)

I am a strong, independent, out-spoken, intelligent woman, with a good education and a job I love and am good at. But does that mean I have to be happy being single? Because…I’m kind of ….not. I want a partner. Someone to share things with. To cuddle with, to work with, cook with, sleep with, talk with, travel with, fight with….and just ‘be’ with. All of it. Being single has it’s advantages, and I’m glad I’ve been able to spend my early twenties figuring out who I am without being influenced by anyone else. I’ve had the chance to meet people, to date, to travel, and to make my own decisions about anything and everything without having to consult with anyone. So, is it strange that sometimes I feel like a fraudulent “single girl” because I’m not really enjoying my single life?

This post is full of introspective and rhetorical questions….guess I just needed to get it out of my system. Would be curious to hear your thoughts!

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6 Responses to “Is it a Single Girl’s world?”


  1. December 18, 2008 at 9:42 pm

    It’s perfectly acceptable to be a strong independent woman and still want to have a partner.

    When you find the right person, it enhances the best things about you and gives you a strong foundation to be even better.

    I spent a little under a year loving being single. I was always the stand-in date for my friends and I got to get out and circulate completely on my own.

    Now that I am back in a relationship with the right person, I feel just as strong and independent as before . . . if not more so, because I have the support of someone I genuinely admire and respect. I still attend things on my own and I still serve as the occasional stand-in date for my friends. It’s like having the benefits of being single, but with a boyfriend.

  2. December 18, 2008 at 11:52 pm

    Thanks Planner!! It is encouraging to know that it’s OK to still want those things, and it doesn’t make me any less strong. I think you’re right – that finding the right person will bring out all of the best parts of you and ‘complement you’ – not ‘complete’ you.

  3. 3 Bridget
    December 20, 2008 at 11:23 am

    I couldn’t have said it better myself. I am 29 and single and feel the same way you do. I am a catch and can’t figure out why I remain single. I’m sick of it. So know that there are plenty of us out there who feel exactly like you. Thanks for writing.

  4. December 20, 2008 at 11:43 am

    Thanks Bridget! I think I’m a catch too…trying to figure out why I’m still single remains a mystery. But, it’s always nice to know other girls are in the same boat and feel the same way. Thanks for commenting…

  5. 5 bex
    December 26, 2008 at 2:16 am

    im finding the holidays to be particularly difficult as well. i hate this time, new years and all that… just be glad that it will all be over soon. this time is just a blip in the year, and we can all continue being our fabulous selves in 2009 🙂

  6. December 29, 2008 at 12:48 am

    I hear ya bex. Here’s to 2009!


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