27
Jan
09

The Single Girl’s Survival List

One of my best friends, L., came by tonight for a catch-up – it’s been more than a month since we’ve seen each other. I was telling her about how I went to see the movie Revolutionary Road on the weekend, and that although it was a bit on the slow side (I found), it painted a realistic picture of marriage that I found to be somewhat refreshing. Don’t get me wrong – I didn’t take pleasure in the fact that the characters in the movie had issues in their marriage, but I like how it showed that no marriage is peachy-keen all the time; that getting married and having children might also mean (for some people) sacrificing some of the dreams/plans you have for yourself. And that’s life – a choice we make.

As we were talking about the movie and some of the things it made me think about, L. told me that she wishes she could have known at what point she was going to meet her husband, J. When I asked her why, she simply said that she probably would have taken advantage of those few extra months that she knew she was going to be single. She couldn’t really pinpoint what she would have done differently, but I wondered if perhaps she missed the mystery and excitement of waiting and wondering, and perhaps would have taken advantage of  some of the opportunities that, let’s face it, only single people have.

Along with the movie, my conversation with L. made me think about the post I’ve been meaning to write about all the reasons that it’s good to be single. I’m thinking that I’ll keep an ongoing list of reasons on my blog, and everytime I come up with one, or experience another reason, I’ll add it to the list via my regular posts. When you get as down about being single as I do, it’s good to have a list like that to go back to so you can remember (and put into practice!) all the reasons that singledom doesn’t suck.

I also went out with my single friend J. this weekend – we come from completely opposite camps. She dates a lot, spent a year on her own in Australia, and really enjoys having fun in her single life. But, she’s afraid that she’s scared of commitment, and will never have a serious relationship. I WISH I could be more like J., and just let loose and have fun, but I’m too aware of looking for someone who will be relationship/commitment potential. Our conversations inevitably end with: “the grass is always greener…” But, everytime I talk to J., she reminds me of what it means to enjoy the single life. Not just when it comes to dating, but having the courage to take advantage of all of  the opportunities that are available; not just as a single girl, but as a woman with no commitments, no one to consult, and the world at her feet. Hopefully making this list will remind me to seize the day and see this silver lining in every situation that would otherwise, get me down about being single. Here we go:

1. I don’t have to consult with anyone about how I spend my money. If I want to go on a trip or buy something, I can, without feeling like there’s an obligation to let someone else spend the same amount to be ‘fair.’

2. My Christmas-buying list is half the size of those who have significant others with two families to buy for.

3. I can watch all the trashy, reality-TV I want without being made fun of, or having to change the channel. I OWN the remote.

4. I don’t get dragged to, or forced to spend money on movies I don’t really want to see.

5. My weekends are entirely my own – I don’t have to incorporate anyone else’s plans and I can say ‘yes or no’ to whatever events I want without consulting anyone.

6. I don’t have to miss any of my family events because I need to split time with ‘in-laws’; especially on the important holidays.

7. I can flirt with whomever I want, whenever I want – without guilt 🙂

8. I can travel anywhere, at anytime – the only person’s schedule and finances I have to worry about is my own.

9. I can apply to jobs or take advantage of any opportunity, anywhere in the world, without having to consider anyone else’s life plans. Hmm….I like this one. I might consider it.

10. Amendment to #7: I can make-0ut with anyone I want – without guilt.

11. I get to enjoy dating and meeting new people. Getting ‘wined and dined’ if you will (Ok – so it’s more like getting treated to a Starbucks coffee, but you get the jist).

12. There’s still some exciting mystery and anticipation about the men I will meet and who could end up being “the one” (if there is such a thing).

13. I still get to experience those first date, first kiss, first crush butterflies – that makes the rest of the dating experiences SO worth the wait.

It’s late, I have to sleep, and this is all I have right now. But stay tuned for my amendments, because I know thre are many more. Feel free to comment or incorporate your own thoughts, and I’ll be sure to add them to my list!

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