05
Mar
09

Love-Sci

Is it just me, or is there more and more information out there about love being a ‘science’; match-making theories based on genetics, biology, DNA etc.? Or theories about how the natural ‘smell’ that we give off, or the way we blink or dart our eyes at someone, is evidence of our attraction to them?

A few weeks ago, I watched a special on 20/20 that tested the research of some doctor (who wrote a book called “Why Him? Why Her?“) who claims that every human being fits into one of four categories based on certain characteristics. She claims that certain pairings of these four different personality types are more successful than others. But, turns out that after following a few potential couples of these ‘ideal’ pairings, none really stuck. Coincidence? Maybe. I mean, there are still so many other things that have to match in order to make a relationship work.

The show also followed a few couples who were matched by a professional, $30,000 a pop, matchmaker. After intensive conversation with her clients, determining the ideal qualities they would each look for in a partner, she would strategically match them up and send them on dates. The gentleman whose story they were following went on two dates – the girl he liked, didn’t like him back – and the one he didn’t like, believed they had a ‘connection.’ Another failed attempt. What was funny about all of this, was that the last couple they featured was an Indian couple brought together by their families in an arranged marriage; literally chosen out of a newspaper ad that listed no personal characteristics whatsover – just facts about his/her occupation, education, and wealth. Despite meeting only once before their wedding, this couple has been happily married (and in love) for over one year. Coincidence again? That after the five matches featured on the show, this was the one that was the most successful?

So IS there a science to it? Some magic formula? Do theories, and genetics and personality characteristics really play a part, or is the whole thing just luck? Right time, right place, and different elements of two people that just happen to mesh well? Is it more important that our upbringing and education and job title equate to our partner’s for a relationship to be successful? Horoscopes have been around for ages – and do you think that a happy couple whose astrological signs don’t really match, are doomed to fail? And doesn’t the thought of some scientific theory, or personality matching system or astrological pairing – just take the fun and mystery out of it all? (OK, so that was a long series of rhetorical questions…)

I did the personality test that was featured on 20/20 (you can do it to – for free- by signing up here), and I would definitely say that the results were right on the money with the kind of person I am. Having said that – we are each individuals. And someone who is the same personality type as me won’t neccessarily be attracted to or interested in the same guy that I might be. I guess what I’m trying to say (not so eloquently) about all of this, is that I just don’t really buy it. I don’t think that these personality tests and theories and scientific evidence about our genetics and DNA and the ‘scents’ that we give off, really have anything to do with finding a match. I truly think it’s based on two factors: luck and timing. Things we like about someone, and things we don’t like about someone. And that is individual for every single person on the planet. So, until I see more scientific evidence that proves the success and happinness of couples based on any of these theories, I’m giong to enjoy the mystery of wondering who the guy I end up with might be.

Another item for my Single Girl’s Survival List (I believe this is #17, for those who have been following): I LOVE having a queen size bed all to myself. I sprawl out every night and don’t have to fight for covers, pillows or space.

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2 Responses to “Love-Sci”


  1. 1 Niecey C
    March 10, 2009 at 4:55 pm

    ooohhh nice entry. Very though provoking stuff here. U kno I watched just a snipet of this show on the discovery channel on the science of sex appeal and I must admit i was very intrigued by it all, some really good stuff, not good enough to buy all the theories and what not but just things to consider but I think you are 100% correct. Everytime I think about love and I see others who try to quantify it and measure just how it happens it puts me in the mind of aliens who are trying to access life on earth if that makes sense. As familiar as we are with love, the more foreign it is and trying to grasp it while fun and exciting I think it’s a mystery we will live our entire lives trying to solve and find out it’s more of a mystery than we could have ever imagined…and yeah having the bed all to one self…luvs it!!! 🙂

  2. March 11, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    I couldn’t agree more! I always find myself getting sucked into those kind of theories, because you get the false sense of thinking that there is some logic or method to finding love. But at the end of the day, it’s a game of luck and timing, and the more we try to understand, the more confused we will be 🙂 But – that’s kind of the fun of it!


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