all about choices

choices-quoteThere have been several people who have told me I’m choosing to be single. And that if I really wanted to be in a relationship, I could find myself a guy rather easily. I could never decide whether or not this was a compliment – that I am smart, funny, pretty enough to turn a guy’s head and am choosing to be picky, or that they’re just sick of me complaining about being single and want me to go out and do something about it. Either way, someone said this to me again the other day and for the first time, I think I actually started to take it the ‘right’ way.

The bottom line is that I don’t want to be in an unhappy relationship, or one that I feel medicore about. I guess that’s why I was never really that good at the ‘fling’ thing. I’m the type of person that is all or nothing. It’s either: “I like you and want a relationship out of this” or “We’re just friends.” As much as I wish I could, I can’t do the ”just relax, flirt, make-out and have fun” thing. I tried it this summer, and it was so exhausting having to force something that was just never going to be there – it’s just not in my nature. And it wasn’t fun, or enjoyable. (Well…maybe it was for a minute – but not long enough to be noteworthy).

So – these people are right. I AM making the choice to stay single until someone ‘right’ comes along. I am not willing to settle for the in-between, the mediocore, the drama, the ‘unsure’, the bare minimum, or the fling. I AM being picky because I deserve to be, and am having faith that it will be worth the wait. I know that my expectations are not unreasonable and I don’t expect perfection – I make a conscious effort to be open to those who may not seem to be ‘my type’ on the surface. So I have to be comfortable with the fact that I am making the choice not to lower my expectations, and that means that I might have to wait a bit longer.

Now – don’t be fooled. As confident as I sound in saying this, it’s hard to do sometimes. But, I’m learning that I have to start seeing my singleness as my choice – a good one. I’d rather make this choice than be wasting my emotions and time on someone who isn’t worth it. When I start to consciously, force myself to think about it that way, I feel a little less lonely and a little less disappointed that I haven’t found someone – because I’m making the choice to be alone.


2 Responses to “all about choices”

  1. 1 Niecey C
    March 10, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    Luvs it!!! It sure makes one feel less pathetic if looked at in this light too might I add. You go!!!! Imma have to read this entry a couple more times. Beautifully done, beautifully said. Talk about girl power! LOL

  2. March 11, 2009 at 7:28 pm

    Thanks Niecey!

    LOl – yes – definitely makes me feel less pathetic! The challenge is to consistently remind myself of this. I think I’ll be reading it a couple of times over too!

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