Let’s talk about…

I miss sex.

Yep. I said it.

And I’ll admit that I’m flat out jealous of all my friends who are in serious relationships, and are getting it regularly.

(Mom- this is your warning should you choose to stop reading now)

When you think about it, sex is really the only thing that you can’t do alone. I mean – yes – I understand there are ways you can get your needs filled without another person. And yes – I understand that ‘no strings attached sex’ with a friend, or a fling, or an ex or a one night stand, are all ways that you can get it without being involved in a serious relationship. But, when I say I miss sex, I’m not just talking about the physical part of it. I’m talking about all the other stuff that comes with it that you can’t get on your own, or from a friend, a fling, an ex (although I know that’s debatable for some), or a one night stand. It’s definitely one of the things that truly sucks about being single.

sex-and-the-city-tv-p119I truly think that Sex and the City opened up a whole new way for woman to think about sex – and I do think it’s empowering that woman don’t have to feel guily about enjoying sex outside of a serious relationship. I mean, let’s face it – men have been doing it for years and although all the studies and research say that woman are much more ’emotional’ when it comes to sex, I dont’ believe that’s true for ALL women. I DO believe that some women ‘can have sex like men’ (as they say in the Sex and the City pilot episode), and I don’t see anything wrong with that. But although women might be able to do that – is physically good sex really as good as emotionally good sex? I haven’t had one without the other, so I can’t really comment personally. For some people, it might be – but I’m pretty sure that’s not the case with me. So even though I’m sure there are ways for me to get what I need physically, it’s not going to fulfill all of those other things that I’m missing when I say that I miss sex; the comfort, the intimacy, the closeness – all that stuff that you really only get from being with someone you care about. And as cliche and traditional as it might sound, I do believe that that’s when sex is the best – and that’s what I miss.

In the mean time, I try and make light of the subject with my friends whenever talk turns to sex – joking that I feel as though my virginity has probably grown back (yes – I know that this is not physically possible), or that they’d better keep a close eye on their boyfriends/fiancees lest I lose my self control. I guess the good news is that if I’ve had great sex with a guy that wasn’t the one for me, it can only get better with the one who is……right?


4 Responses to “Let’s talk about…”

  1. 1 faeriedancer
    April 26, 2009 at 3:27 pm

    I know exactly how you feel. And I have done the casual “no strings attached” sex. It so does not compare to sex with someone that you really care about, and at times can just be plain old awkward. And I hate awkward…

  2. April 26, 2009 at 8:47 pm

    Thanks faerie – I almost did the no strings attached thing with a fling/friend too but I’m confident it wouldn’t have been good (the rest of it wasn’t…) I am ALL for avoiding awkwardness too…

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