in pursuit of happiness

“To have joy one must share it. Happiness was born a twin.” Lord Byron, 1788  – 1824

Do you think this is true? I believe that people can be happy alone (although not sure I’m there yet). But sometimes, the pursuit of happiness – is a lonely road. Especially when the twin is missing. And I believe that you can be happy, without neccessarily experiencing happi-ness – does that make sense?

On Friday, I had my annual performance evaluation at work. I always get nervous for these despite the fact that I’m fairly confident in my job, and consistently reassured that I’m doing well. Turns out – my boss thinks I’m fantastic. I exceed expectations. People like working with me. She thinks I have potential to be a leader on our team. AND – she thinks I’m so great that I’m getting a big fat raise. Now – who wouldn’t be happy about that!? Of course I was…

But then I came home. And there was no one to tell. No one to celebrate with. No one to hug and kiss me and say “I told you so!” or “Congratulations!” and “You deserve it!” My parents were thrilled of course, and my best friend C. – but it just wasn’t the same. It was lonely. And although it was great news, and I was happy about it – the happi-ness of being able to share it with someone was missing.

I’m sure there are people reading this who think I’m a whiner – that I should just be thankful for such a great opportunity, and happy that everything else in my life is going great. And so what if I’m single? It’s one piece out of a whole puzzle of things that make up a happy life. But sometimes, I’d be willing to give up so many of those other puzzle pieces to have someone who’s committed to me. Because if everything else in my life was less than perfect, you’re still left with someone to share it with. The highs and the lows. Someone in my corner who’s made the choice to love me, support me, and be happy with me. Whatever I’m going through, I’m not alone. And I do believe that happiness is so much sweeter when you share it with someone. And the lows are much easier to get through when it’s someone’s job and commitement to be on your side.

But this is my blog – and I’ll whine if I want to. This just reassures for me again that – IF – I ever do find someone who becomes my partner, I know I will be that much more grateful. And if all of these other good things in my life go away, I will remember this blog and how badly all I wanted was someone to share it with. So for me, the pursuit of happiness goes on…