Archive Page 2

18
Mar
10

All it takes is a boost…

I’m back!

My Olympic adventure was incredible. But, I spent so much time blogging about it that I needed a blogging “break” when I came home. I’ve spent the last week settling back in, and getting used to regular routine again. Being away for four weeks and having this experience was awesome, to say the least – and it has been difficult adjusting to ‘normal life’ after such a high.

However, my experience in Vancouver was not without it’s “single girl stories”….

You may remember from one of my past posts that a psychic told my Mom that I was destined to meet a guy in February 2010. That premonition came true, but not in the way that I had anticipated. My first day of work, I met L.; a 42-year old French-Canadian from Montreal. We hit it off from the get-go, spending most of our shifts cracking each other up, sharing stories and enjoying the awesome cocktails and cuisine of Vancouver with fellow volunteers after our shifts. I felt more comfortable with L. than I have felt with another guy in years, and we developed a great friendship. On his last night in Vancouver, L. treated me to a great ‘date’ night: we went to a fancy Italian restaurant, ordered champagne and wine, and topped the evening off at a piano bar (and more champagne). The french-gentleman that he is, L. wined and dined me that evening (the french do this VERY well!), and I didn’t really realize until then how much I enjoyed that kind of attention! Maybe because it was without pretense or the intention of ‘showing-off’ – but it was really nice to be treated like a lady for one evening. Despite our age difference (and the fact that Luc has a live-in girlfriend), we became very close friends, and he’s someone that I’m sure I’ll keep in touch with. Above all else, I truly believe that I was meant to meet L. during this experience. My relationship with him showed me that there ARE great guys out there who I can get along with, feel comfortable with, and who like me “just the way I am” (to quote from one of my favourite movies, Bridget Jones’ Diary). Not to mention the fact that I was shown that chivalry is not dead, and it doesn’t make me a ‘needy’ girl if I like to be spoiled every now and then.

Fresh off my ‘romantic’ (if you would call it that) evening with L., I did something that I have never done before. While out for dinner with my 50-something year old aunt, and our 70-something year old cousins (who hosted us while in Vancouver), we were waited on by a very cute, very nice, very sweet waiter. We chatted quite a bit with him in between courses and from the little we found it about him, it seemed we had a lot in common. It wasn’t long before my dining companions were pushing me to give him my phone number/business card; and pushing, and pushing (at my resistance, because I am WAY to shy for stuff like that). Well, after a few glasses of wine and my aunt threatening to give him my number anyway – I ACTUALLY did it myself! I left the restaurant with no regrets, and feeling kind of indifferent about whether or not he contacted me or not – I was just really proud of myself for taking that step because at the ripe old age of 28, I can honestly say that I don’t think I’ve ever volunteered my number to a guy.

The next day was the gold medal game and while I awoke with a renewed boost of confidence, I had completely forgotten about the events at the restaurant the night before; my efforts were focused on finding the best place to watch the game! Imagine my surprise when I started receiving text messages from a Vancouver number that I didn’t recognize. After responding once, I simply stopped, convinced that this mystery texter had the wrong number. It was until later that afternoon when I was on my way back to the house for dinner that it donned on me – the mystery texter was my waiter from the night before! Well, once I realized that and finally responded, we ended up corresponding for about an hour or so, and again in the morning on my way to the airport (yes – I met him on my second-last night in Vancouver). After telling him that I was turning my cell phone off during my vacay week in Hawaii, I honestly expected never to hear from him again – after all, we pretty much live on opposite sides of the country. So, I was pretty shocked after opening my phone five days later to find a very sweet text, inquiring as to how I was enjoying Hawaii and joking at the fact that I had obviously cracked on my ‘no cell phone rule.’ Now – this is not par-for-the -course for me based on my previous dating experience; I don’t remember the last time that I was ever pursued by someone I liked so receiving this text was a huge confidence booster. And it felt nice to know that someone was actually thinking about me!

Upon my return home, I contacted “Waiter” and we texted back and forth for awhile. Until – he asked that critical question: “Do you have a boyfriend?” This is it, I thought. I’m not making it up. It’s not in my head. Distance aside – he’s interested. He’s actually interested – in ME! With that in my head, yet not knowing what his intentions were behind the question, I answered: “Nope. You?” To which HE replies. “Yep. Have a girlfriend.” Uhhh…..say what now?

Well, needless to say I shut-down that conversation pretty quick and haven’t looked back. And despite my mild disappointment with the situation (really, we barely had 10 minutes total of ACTUAL conversation), it was another confidence booster and I see it as simply another example of something that was just meant to happen to me. The fact that I even GAVE someone my number was a big step for me, and now I know I can do it – and it really wasn’t that big of a deal. So what if some stranger doesn’t call me? I’m out nothing but a little hurt pride. Lack of confidence, especially when it comes to guys, is something I have always struggled with and I definitely feel like it’s been holding me back. So, between my experiences with L. and Waiter, I’m feeling a wee boost in my confidence and hoping it will stick.

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15
Feb
10

Happy Belated Love Day

I have not forgotten about you readers! But I have been incredibly busy enjoying this wild and crazy Olympic adventure. Highlights to date? Monitoring a section of dignitaries and yesterday’s figure skating event, which included Joe Biden, former Prime Minister Jean Chretien, and the ISU and IOC dignitaries. Quite an experience!

Living the Olympics in my home country has been so amazing and rewarding. The Canadian pride and spirit is everywhere, and I have met some of the most wonderful people. Most of the great conversations have happened with perfect strangers, as we’ve just struck up a conversation on the bus or sky train about how we’ve been spending our time in Vancouver, what events we’ve been to etc, etc. The people in this city are beyond friendly and warm, and everyone is feeling that Canadian, Olympic spirit.

I have spend the last two Valentine’s Days with G&W and B&C – last year the five of us were downing pina coladas in Miami! This Valentine’s Day, I met up with two fellow volunteers and my aunt, and we celebrated Canada’s first gold medal at a small restaurant/bar near the Waterfront in Vancouver. A few champagne cocktails and a piece of chocolate mousse cake later, and we were feeling the love for sure! My volunteer friend, L. even picked up the tab as a little Valentine for us three ladies ūüôā It was nice to have a Valentine’s Day where I did not think about being single even for a second….I was just having too much fun!

I hope that you were able to spend Valentine’s Day with someone you love or care about, or that maybe you didn’t ‘celebrate’ it at all! Either way, I’m sending you Olympic love from Vancouver, Canada!

A rare, sunny Valentine's Day in Vancouver! View of BC Place from the Sky Train on my way to work

03
Feb
10

Single Life

Dear blog,

I hope you are not feeling neglected. I have been negligent in fulfilling my New Year’s resolution to write to you more; I have been busy preparing for my Olympic adventure! Please forgive me. I may be taking a blog-hiatus for a few weeks while I live out my bucket list!

There, now that that’s out of the way….

Although I spend a lot of time on this blog venting about all the things that suck about being single (and there is a lot of material on that!) I do, every now and then, try to focus on the advantages that come with this way of life as well. I was recently reminded of one such advantage, when I spontaneously decided to tack on an extra week to my Olympic adventure, and spend some time visiting a friend of mine in Hawaii. Vancouver is already half-way there, and so I figured – why not? I have the means, I have the vacation time, and I have the desire to do it (really, who doesn’t have the desire to go to Hawaii). Sure, there were plenty of reasons I shouldn’t – can I afford to take three more days off work after already taking three weeks? Is there other things that I should be spending/saving my money for? (Even though I got a very good deal on the flight and it was cheap relatively speaking, it still set me back a bit). And logistically, can I pack for three weeks in Vancouver followed by a week in the tropics?

But in taking a page from The Buried Life – who knows where we’ll be tomorrow? Sure I might be able to go to Hawaii another time, but maybe not. So when these kinds of opportunities present themselves, I’m learning that sometimes it’s best to throw caution to the wind a little bit, and just go for it. That’s not to say I agree with spending money frivolously or doing things without considering the consequences, but spontaneity is the spice of life! And I never want to look back and think “What if?” I doubt I’ll get back from Hawaii and wish that I hadn’t decided to spend a relaxing week on the beach. One of my favourite lines from RENT goes: “Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No day but today.”

Of course, being single makes ‘being spontaneous’ a bit easier to execute. No other person’s plans to consider, and no finances to worry about but your own. At the same time, sometimes I find myself questioning whether or not many of the assumptions I made about my life when I was younger, will actually come to fruition – so I feel this need to sometimes act impulsively, for fear that I might lose opportunities and experiences that in the past, I’d foreseen happening under different circumstances. Many of my friends are in the marriage/house-buying/baby-making stage, and travel is a rather low priority at this point in their lives. So, who knows how long I’d have to wait before someone wanted/was willing/was able to take a trip like this with me? I never used to be a spontaneous person, but in the last few years, I’ve started looking at life a bit differently….

I truly believe that the only things certain in life are death and taxes; no point waiting for something that might never happen. “Get busy living, or get busy dying” – as ‘they’ say. And, travel is something that is really important to me; whether it’s a weekend away to someplace I’ve never been to or an overseas trip abroad, I think it’s really important to see life beyond the ‘bubble’ that we live in each day (I have my Contiki experience to thank for that outlook). It’s a big priority for me while I’m still living the single life – I have plenty of time for all the other grown-up stuff. And because I’ve already filled this post with philosophical quotes about life, here’s another one I love: “The world is a book. Those who do not travel, read only a page.”

So, I leave you with the wisest quote of all: Just do it.

25
Jan
10

The Buried Life

I have never really given much thought to having a formal ‘Bucket List‘ in my life. However, I think everyone has a mental list of things that they’d like to do/experience at some point before they die and for me, going to the Olympics was probably one of the¬†things I’ve had on my unofficial bucket list for as long as I can remember. I’m not sure I even thought I’d get to do it in my own country, and I certainly never dreamed¬†I’d get to participate in the whole thing. It feels great to be able to cross something like this off my ‘unofficial’ list, and now I¬†can’t stop¬†thinking about the things I’m going to want to¬†do next. Again, this is where being single certainly has its advantages – I’m free to explore and act on my bucket list with no one holding me back…

MTV has recently started airing a show called “The Buried Life“, about four university guys who have set out to complete their bucket list of 100 items. For every item¬†they cross of their list, they help a stranger cross something off their list as well. If you haven’t seen this show, and even if you wouldn’t include yourself among the ‘MTV generation’, I seriously recommend checking it out (you can watch the episodes commercial free online – note: this links to MTV Canada). I find it completely inspiring, and it has certainly got me thinking about¬†creating my own official list now that I’ve actually been able to cross something off it. And¬†although going to the Olympics is not¬†that much of an¬†unattainable goal, the sheer happiness of having done something on my list is¬†momentum enough to keep going. As one of the guys says in the first episode: “Get busy livin’, or get busy dyin’!”

I looked up why these guys wanted to call their show “The Buried Life” – turns out, it’s because of a poem by the famous poet and critic Matthew Arnold, who I actually spent some time studying in university:

But often, in the world’s most crowded streets,
But often, in the din of strife,
There rises an unspeakable desire
After the knowledge of our buried life;
A thirst to spend our fire and restless force
In tracking out our true, original course…

Wise words indeed….

20
Jan
10

Insanity

The other day my brother and I were having a random conversation about some stuff and he came out with these wise words of wisdom: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Of course these weren’t my brother’s words of wisdom, they were Albert Einstein’s. But I thought to myself – how true. For me, this quote applies specifically to my addiction (dare I say, recovering addiction?) with X, and I’m sure that many of you out there can relate this to past relationships you’ve had as well; hoping and hoping that things will change, determined that he IS this great guy underneath, and that eventually he’ll see the light and realize how lucky he is to have you (whether it’s as a girlfriend, or in my case, as a friend). But no matter what we do, he won’t change. And I’ve finally learned that. I’ve stopped expecting X to behave any differently than he has in the past – why would he? I would keep doing the same things expecting him to react differently – but his reactions and responses never changed. Insanity I tell ya!

And now, I don’t really care about his reactions and responses because per Albert Einstein’s advice, I finally changed what I was doing when it comes to X. What have I been doing? Absolutely NOTHING. No phone calls. No emails. No texts. No visits. And this sanity feels pretty darn good…

19
Jan
10

Find Me Somebody To Love

(Love that song, especially the version they did on Glee).

So, I’m seriously considering giving the online dating thing another go. I’ve been toying with the idea of getting back on eHarmony for about a week or so now. Maybe because they have a good deal on right now, or because it’s hard to resist the couples on those commercials who look so freakin’ happy, and do a damn good job of convincing me that – yes- my perfect match is out there, just waiting for me to find him. The thing that keeps stopping me is the ridiculous frustration and discouragement that have followed my last several attempts at online dating (or really, dating in general). I swore that I would NEVER do it again. It almost felt worse than not dating at all because some of the matches I saw made me go: “Are you kidding me? This is the best that’s out there?!” Or, I’d go on a few dates, and like every other guy since X and my last crush, there’d be absolutely no chemistry or interest on my end whatsoever.

Given that, I’ve been on a self-imposed dating diet for quite some time now. And as much as I remain incredibly discouraged about dating and my seeming inability to even develop a ‘crush’ on someone, I figure that I’m not getting any further by throwing in the towel on dating all together either. I’m not ready to commit to online dating again just yet, but I’m thinking about it.

Going back and reading some of my older posts about my online dating experiences and thoughts are not helping the cause right now….I’d better give it a few more days…

16
Jan
10

Resolution Recap

So- we’re about two weeks into the New Year; time to take stock of how the resolutions are going.

I’ve cooked one new recipe in the crockpot – Beef and Cabbage. I guess it was healthy….didn’t have any of the condensed soups filled with sodium that seem to be in every other crockpot recipe I’ve found. Probably wouldn’t make it again though, as I didn’t find it all that flavorful. I borrowed a Healthy Recipes crockpot book from my friend J., so I’m hoping to photocopy some recipes from that and get my groove on with the cooking. There’s nothing like getting home after a long day and having dinner already made. If I don’t have a man to do it, a crockpot seems like the next best thing….

Spinning. Nope. Haven’t attempted the non-beginner’s class yet, and haven’t done the two-a-week. I am blatantly failing at this resolution. However, I have added two other additional classes to my workout schedule so I feel as though that balances it out a bit – and I’m feeling good. The two new classes are a combination of cardio AND strength training so at least I feel like I’m killing two birds with one stone. I didn’t realize it would be so hard to get back into shape after being off for just two weeks, but MAN! That first class back was brutal.

Getting my finances in order. This is going well. I’ve set up an automatic payment plan to start paying my parents back, and am saving the wee bit of extra cash (from the raise I negotiated for myself back in the fall – : ) into a tax-free savings account. Feeling good about where I stand here for now, and hoping it will stick…

X. This is still a work in progress but it IS progressing – even if I have to consciously work on it. It’s been quite some time since X and I have talked or emailed, and I’m really starting to see that it is better this way. Much better, actually. I still hate to admit that – it feels like I’ve failed at having a friendship with X but I’m starting to see why it’s better that I don’t. He’s still dating his gf, and as much as I hate to admit it, it does give me a wee bit of satisfaction that B&C have confided to me that they don’t like her – at all. I’m not surprised as even the little I’ve seen them together, something is off. X is lonely and digging his own hole – it’s not up to me to save him anymore. How he deals with his own loneliness is entirely up to him. I’m nervous that we’re going to start seeing each other weekly now, as our dodgeball league starts this week. It’s been so long since I’ve even talked/seen him that I know it will be awkward, but I’m determined not to¬† let the fact that I have to see him weekly set me back. I feel like I’m at a place now where at least I’m taking 2 steps forward and 1 step back, as opposed to 1 step forward and 2 back. That’s progress.

How are your resolutions going?

P.S. May I also just add that I will be touching down in Vancouver three weeks today. UBER excited to be volunteering at the Olympics in my home country!!!




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