Posts Tagged ‘advantages of being single

03
Feb
10

Single Life

Dear blog,

I hope you are not feeling neglected. I have been negligent in fulfilling my New Year’s resolution to write to you more; I have been busy preparing for my Olympic adventure! Please forgive me. I may be taking a blog-hiatus for a few weeks while I live out my bucket list!

There, now that that’s out of the way….

Although I spend a lot of time on this blog venting about all the things that suck about being single (and there is a lot of material on that!) I do, every now and then, try to focus on the advantages that come with this way of life as well. I was recently reminded of one such advantage, when I spontaneously decided to tack on an extra week to my Olympic adventure, and spend some time visiting a friend of mine in Hawaii. Vancouver is already half-way there, and so I figured – why not? I have the means, I have the vacation time, and I have the desire to do it (really, who doesn’t have the desire to go to Hawaii). Sure, there were plenty of reasons I shouldn’t – can I afford to take three more days off work after already taking three weeks? Is there other things that I should be spending/saving my money for? (Even though I got a very good deal on the flight and it was cheap relatively speaking, it still set me back a bit). And logistically, can I pack for three weeks in Vancouver followed by a week in the tropics?

But in taking a page from The Buried Life – who knows where we’ll be tomorrow? Sure I might be able to go to Hawaii another time, but maybe not. So when these kinds of opportunities present themselves, I’m learning that sometimes it’s best to throw caution to the wind a little bit, and just go for it. That’s not to say I agree with spending money frivolously or doing things without considering the consequences, but spontaneity is the spice of life! And I never want to look back and think “What if?” I doubt I’ll get back from Hawaii and wish that I hadn’t decided to spend a relaxing week on the beach. One of my favourite lines from RENT goes: “Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No day but today.”

Of course, being single makes ‘being spontaneous’ a bit easier to execute. No other person’s plans to consider, and no finances to worry about but your own. At the same time, sometimes I find myself questioning whether or not many of the assumptions I made about my life when I was younger, will actually come to fruition – so I feel this need to sometimes act impulsively, for fear that I might lose opportunities and experiences that in the past, I’d foreseen happening under different circumstances. Many of my friends are in the marriage/house-buying/baby-making stage, and travel is a rather low priority at this point in their lives. So, who knows how long I’d have to wait before someone wanted/was willing/was able to take a trip like this with me? I never used to be a spontaneous person, but in the last few years, I’ve started looking at life a bit differently….

I truly believe that the only things certain in life are death and taxes; no point waiting for something that might never happen. “Get busy living, or get busy dying” – as ‘they’ say. And, travel is something that is really important to me; whether it’s a weekend away to someplace I’ve never been to or an overseas trip abroad, I think it’s really important to see life beyond the ‘bubble’ that we live in each day (I have my Contiki experience to thank for that outlook). It’s a big priority for me while I’m still living the single life – I have plenty of time for all the other grown-up stuff. And because I’ve already filled this post with philosophical quotes about life, here’s another one I love: “The world is a book. Those who do not travel, read only a page.”

So, I leave you with the wisest quote of all: Just do it.

25
Jan
10

The Buried Life

I have never really given much thought to having a formal ‘Bucket List‘ in my life. However, I think everyone has a mental list of things that they’d like to do/experience at some point before they die and for me, going to the Olympics was probably one of the things I’ve had on my unofficial bucket list for as long as I can remember. I’m not sure I even thought I’d get to do it in my own country, and I certainly never dreamed I’d get to participate in the whole thing. It feels great to be able to cross something like this off my ‘unofficial’ list, and now I can’t stop thinking about the things I’m going to want to do next. Again, this is where being single certainly has its advantages – I’m free to explore and act on my bucket list with no one holding me back…

MTV has recently started airing a show called “The Buried Life“, about four university guys who have set out to complete their bucket list of 100 items. For every item they cross of their list, they help a stranger cross something off their list as well. If you haven’t seen this show, and even if you wouldn’t include yourself among the ‘MTV generation’, I seriously recommend checking it out (you can watch the episodes commercial free online – note: this links to MTV Canada). I find it completely inspiring, and it has certainly got me thinking about creating my own official list now that I’ve actually been able to cross something off it. And although going to the Olympics is not that much of an unattainable goal, the sheer happiness of having done something on my list is momentum enough to keep going. As one of the guys says in the first episode: “Get busy livin’, or get busy dyin’!”

I looked up why these guys wanted to call their show “The Buried Life” – turns out, it’s because of a poem by the famous poet and critic Matthew Arnold, who I actually spent some time studying in university:

But often, in the world’s most crowded streets,
But often, in the din of strife,
There rises an unspeakable desire
After the knowledge of our buried life;
A thirst to spend our fire and restless force
In tracking out our true, original course…

Wise words indeed….

21
Nov
09

Merry Christmas (to me)

I’ve said before that one of the advantages of being single is that you save money having to buy gifts for a significant other (and his family) on special occasions. So the way I see it, I might as well spend the money I would spend on a boyfriend – on myself!

That’s why this week, C. and I booked ourselves Christmas facials at one of the swankiest spas in town. For one hour, it’s going set me back WAY too much but I don’t care. C. and I agreed this would be our Christmas present to each other and I’m justifying spending the other half (we’d never usually spend this much on each other!) as a Christmas present to myself…

Single? Merry Christmas to you! Go out and treat yourself to something special 🙂 I HIGHLY recommend a spa facial…

05
Nov
09

Advantage: Single.

We all know that no matter how crappy it might feel at times, there ARE advantages that come with being single. Some are legit, and some are just things we repeat to ourselves so we feel better about our single situation. Today,  I most definitely experienced one of those legit advantages.

A few months ago, my (single) friend JD and I were talking about what we should do for New Year’s. We knew we didn’t want to stay in town, and as much as I love my friends, I wasn’t super excited about going to B&C’s annual New Year’s party with a bunch of married couples. We threw around a few ideas – one being a trip to the south of France where JD went to school and worked for two years. She goes back every few months to visit friends, and suggested this as an option (among a few other closer-to-home options as well). So, after going back and forth and considering some other (and cheaper!) options, we decided – “What the hell?” – and booked our flights to Nice today.

Not only am I thrilled that JD was kind of enough to include me in her plans to go back to Monaco for a visit, but I’m also thrilled that instead of just talking about the things you can do when you’re single (ie. spontaneously booking expensive travel), I’m actually doing them. Ever since I traveled to Europe with Contiki (HIGHLY recommend this if you’re between 18-35, single – or not – and want to travel. Best time of my life) – I’ve wanted to go back. It completely opened my eyes to what’s out in the world, and was seriously life-changing. It’s so easy to find excuses not to do these kinds of things; mostly money, time and responsibilities. Well here’s what: at the end of the day, you can’t take it with you. And life’s just too short. So yes – this will be an expensive trip, but I know I’ll never regret it. I just got a big raise, and should spoil myself. I should take advantage of the fact that I don’t have to discuss this with anyone else, and don’t have to fight over how much money it’s going to be, and that I could just decide one day to book a trip and do it. I’m also taking the train to Italy for a few days to see (and meet!) some of my relatives, so I can’t wait for that either. What a great way to start 2010.

On top of all this, I have yet to mention in my blog that I interviewed (and am waiting NOT so patiently for) a volunteer position with the Vancouver 2010 Olympics. I have always been fascinated by the Olympics, and would even go as far to say that I have a real passion for it. There’s something so amazing about all those countries coming together for the love of sport. And as a very proud Canadian, I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to participate in something like this in my home country. If I get the position, it’s likely I may have to stay in Vancouver for up to 4 weeks (luckily I have relatives out there who have agreed to take me in!) Would I have taken this leap if I wasn’t single? Maybe, maybe not. But the fact is that I can do it – I’m not leaving anyone behind for a month, I have a good job that will let me take time off for an opportunity like this, and I don’t have to worry about someone thinking I’m crazy for spending money on another expensive trip. And I’ve decided that even if I don’t get the position, I’m flying out to Vancouver for a week during the Olympics anyway, because – “Why not!?” The final phase for tickets is this Saturday so I’m hoping to secure tickets for a couple of events.

Yes – it’s true that I will probably be broke when I get back in February, and might find myself saying: “What the heck were you thinking spending all that money on travel?! Now you’re broke!” But you know what? NOW I feel like I’m finally taking advantage of my single life, and I’m finally starting to accept love it. Yay me 🙂

21
Sep
09

If you’ve ever been hit on…this is for you.

I hate email forwards. My friends and family know this, so whenever they DO send me one, I know it’s either pretty funny or pretty insightful. My brother sent me a great one today and since it relates to being single/finding guys, I had to post it. I feel two ways about it though. You either listen to this and think: “Thank GOD I’m still single instead of with some loser like this.” Or – “Oh Lord – is this what’s out there for me to choose from.”  Of course, as most email forwards are, this could be a total hoax – and for the sake of single girls everywhere, let’s hope it is!

The story is this:  a girl was out with friends having drinks on X street in (insert city here). This guy approaches her and won’t leave her alone -saying how cute she is. She finally gives in  and hands the guy her business card to get rid of him.  Below is an MP3 file of not one, but TWO voicemails this guy left. This goes down  in the history books – especially the second voice mail. After hearing them you can clearly see why she didn’t call him back – instead  she called in to the local morning radio show and had them play this on the air.
Ladies: this  is what’s out there…. So have a listen…laugh, and thank your lucky  stars you are either single, in a relationship, or not with this guy….

Dimitri The Stud

14
Jul
09

Before You Get Married

A “Facebook friend” (because let’s face it…we’re not “friends” with everyone on our Facebook list) posted the link to this article, and I thought it was so good that it warranted it’s own post. I’m about halfway through the list – how about you? Enjoy!

20 Things Every Woman Should Do Before She Gets Married

05
Mar
09

Love-Sci

Is it just me, or is there more and more information out there about love being a ‘science’; match-making theories based on genetics, biology, DNA etc.? Or theories about how the natural ‘smell’ that we give off, or the way we blink or dart our eyes at someone, is evidence of our attraction to them?

A few weeks ago, I watched a special on 20/20 that tested the research of some doctor (who wrote a book called “Why Him? Why Her?“) who claims that every human being fits into one of four categories based on certain characteristics. She claims that certain pairings of these four different personality types are more successful than others. But, turns out that after following a few potential couples of these ‘ideal’ pairings, none really stuck. Coincidence? Maybe. I mean, there are still so many other things that have to match in order to make a relationship work.

The show also followed a few couples who were matched by a professional, $30,000 a pop, matchmaker. After intensive conversation with her clients, determining the ideal qualities they would each look for in a partner, she would strategically match them up and send them on dates. The gentleman whose story they were following went on two dates – the girl he liked, didn’t like him back – and the one he didn’t like, believed they had a ‘connection.’ Another failed attempt. What was funny about all of this, was that the last couple they featured was an Indian couple brought together by their families in an arranged marriage; literally chosen out of a newspaper ad that listed no personal characteristics whatsover – just facts about his/her occupation, education, and wealth. Despite meeting only once before their wedding, this couple has been happily married (and in love) for over one year. Coincidence again? That after the five matches featured on the show, this was the one that was the most successful?

So IS there a science to it? Some magic formula? Do theories, and genetics and personality characteristics really play a part, or is the whole thing just luck? Right time, right place, and different elements of two people that just happen to mesh well? Is it more important that our upbringing and education and job title equate to our partner’s for a relationship to be successful? Horoscopes have been around for ages – and do you think that a happy couple whose astrological signs don’t really match, are doomed to fail? And doesn’t the thought of some scientific theory, or personality matching system or astrological pairing – just take the fun and mystery out of it all? (OK, so that was a long series of rhetorical questions…)

I did the personality test that was featured on 20/20 (you can do it to – for free- by signing up here), and I would definitely say that the results were right on the money with the kind of person I am. Having said that – we are each individuals. And someone who is the same personality type as me won’t neccessarily be attracted to or interested in the same guy that I might be. I guess what I’m trying to say (not so eloquently) about all of this, is that I just don’t really buy it. I don’t think that these personality tests and theories and scientific evidence about our genetics and DNA and the ‘scents’ that we give off, really have anything to do with finding a match. I truly think it’s based on two factors: luck and timing. Things we like about someone, and things we don’t like about someone. And that is individual for every single person on the planet. So, until I see more scientific evidence that proves the success and happinness of couples based on any of these theories, I’m giong to enjoy the mystery of wondering who the guy I end up with might be.

Another item for my Single Girl’s Survival List (I believe this is #17, for those who have been following): I LOVE having a queen size bed all to myself. I sprawl out every night and don’t have to fight for covers, pillows or space.




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