I’m determined that at some point I’m going to write a post about all the advantages to being single. I know that there are many. But to be brutally honest, most of the time, I find being single very lonely. Around the holiday season, I find it especially tough.
I’ve been single most of my life. At (almost) 27, I’ve had one serious relationship that lasted about two years. I have never been the ‘boy-crazy’ type, but I’m not a wallflower either. I’ve dated around. The funny thing is, I’m not so sure that it’s the ‘being single’ that bothers me, as much as it’s the fact that I’m bothered by the fact that it…bothers me! Does that make sense? In a world of Sex and the City, female presidential nominees, and chick-lit, aren’t we supposed to embrace our inner single girl? To be independent, strong and happy on our own? To have it all? To focus on our careers, and our friends, and our interests, instead of wishing for a husband or partner? It feels expected now that single girls have to be happy about being single, or else they’re seen as being some kind of ‘house-wife wannabe’ stuck in the 50’s (and just for the record…that could not be further from who I am!)
I am a strong, independent, out-spoken, intelligent woman, with a good education and a job I love and am good at. But does that mean I have to be happy being single? Because…I’m kind of ….not. I want a partner. Someone to share things with. To cuddle with, to work with, cook with, sleep with, talk with, travel with, fight with….and just ‘be’ with. All of it. Being single has it’s advantages, and I’m glad I’ve been able to spend my early twenties figuring out who I am without being influenced by anyone else. I’ve had the chance to meet people, to date, to travel, and to make my own decisions about anything and everything without having to consult with anyone. So, is it strange that sometimes I feel like a fraudulent “single girl” because I’m not really enjoying my single life?
This post is full of introspective and rhetorical questions….guess I just needed to get it out of my system. Would be curious to hear your thoughts!