Posts Tagged ‘Facebook


The Radar

frustrationI’m convinced that boys have a radar. As soon as they know you’ve made a decision to forget about them, or move on, or whatever….they sense it and swoop right in to make it as difficult as possible. X calls me tonight about my plans for the evening – we were supposed to go to a mutual friend’s going away party (not together…separately). I was good and ignored his phone call the first time. Then, he called again and I picked up – all of a sudden he wants my company, but had no problem leaving me high and dry last week when he ditched our plans with no phone call at all. Unreal.

AND – my friend J. is in the same situation with a guy she’s trying to cut things off with. Out of the blue, her guy contacts her (because he happens to see she’s online on Facebook) and wants to know why she’s been “out of touch?” PLEASE!! As much as we’d love to sit around and let you guys walk all over us and contact us ONLY when it’s convenient for you, we HAVE better things to do. Stop making it so difficult for us to forget you!!! Feels kind of like a test from the Gods of Single Women…I’m determined to get a passing grade!

(For the record, I told X I was going ahead with my own plans tonight. ie. staying in to take care of a leaking ceiling…)


Staying Cyber-Sane

facebook-logoThis week, I had two different single girlfriends talk to me about how difficult Facebook is making it for them to forget about past guys. When you have a tool at your disposal that makes it so easy for you to essentially spy on the activities of someone who a) broke your heart, or b) is in a position to break your heart – it’s trouble. And it’s not just Facebook (and did I mention Facebook chat?) – there’s My Space, MSN Messenger, Twitter, texting…there’s so much technology going around that it’s practically impossible NOT to keep tabs on people, even when you don’t want to! And with iPhones, Blackberrys, Sidekicks, and every other kind of technological device, you have access to the info 24/7.

And that’s just the thing – half the time, we don’t WANT to know what these guys are up to. Because if we find out that they’ve been actively ‘social networking’ (it’s almost impossible to hide activity on Facebook), we wonder why WE haven’t heard from them. And if they’re not social networking, we wonder if they’re avoiding us, or we make excuses as to what they must be up to instead. The thing is, we’re spending so much time trying to decipher their cyber activity, when really – you get no clear answers from it, and end up making assumptions that may or may not be true.

msn_messenger_logoNot only does technology make it easy to keep tabs on people’s activity, but the introduction of Facebook has opened up an entirely new dimension of cyber-spying (no, NOT cyber-stalking). Pictures, status updates, live activity feeds, videos, open conversations, seeing other people’s friends – it’s an open invitation to torture ourselves! While there’s no guys on Facebook that I’m ‘cyber-spying’ on at the moment (I’ve purposely left my last crush off my friends list for fear of losing my sanity), my latest thing is looking at all the people I went to high school with who are recently engaged, married or pregnant. Why do I do this to myself? I have no idea. But I know some of you out there are doing it too!

Talking to my friend, who is currently experiencing the disappearing act of her latest guy from the social networking world, I started to realize just how much power these tools can have over us single girls. I mean, me and my single friends are the furthest thing from boy-crazy, needy, clingy or co-dependent. Quite the opposite actually – we’re strong, independent, intelligent, successful women. Yet, it’s hard for the availability of thisĀ  information and the ease in which we can access it, to not get the better of us! Does this make us crazy? No. Sometimes, we’re just looking for answers. Sometimes, we’re just curious. And sometimes, the information is just too available. The key is knowing when to cut ourselves off, whether that means excercising will-power, or using the ever so powerful DELETE key. Regain your cyber-sanity ladies!


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