Posts Tagged ‘Mom

19
Nov
09

Do YOU Believe?

The subject of this post is really two-fold.

First, “Do you believe?” happens to be the slogan for CTV’s promos for the Olympic games. Why does this matter? Well, I just found out that I was offered a volunteer position at the Olympics!!! AMAZING. This is really a dream come true for me; to actually participate in the Olympic Games in my home country. I’ll be traveling from Ontario to BC for just over 3 weeks in February, and I absolutely can’t wait. Definitely a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and I’m so glad I took a chance and went for this!

Now – the second idea behind this post is the idea of psychics. That’s right, psychics.

A few weeks ago, my mom went to an event where there was a psychic as a guest speaker. Halfway through her presentation, she turned to my Mom (who was sitting just off to the side) and said abruptly: “I need to talk to you after.” So, when she was finished, the psychic came over to my Mom and basically said that although she knows her daughter (ME) has been going through some rough times in the last couple of years (very true), that things were going to turn around for me in 2010 and it will be my year; she sees me doing some traveling (true), and says that in February 2010, I’m going to meet someone and he will be the “one”. She also proceeded to tell my Mom a few more things about myself and my brother, all eerily accurate. AND – she also recalled some things from my mom’s past, that very few people are privy to. So….

I certainly don’t plan on living my life based on what this woman has said. But – I’d by lying if I said I didn’t find myself a little….relieved? I kind of feel like I can just let it go for awhile, you know? Not think about it. And if it doesn’t happen – well it doesn’t happen. But if it does? I won’t have spent these last few months dwelling on it. Of course, I should be able to do this – let it go that is – without the guidance/predictions of a psychic;  but I guess there’s just something kind of reassuring about it that gives me that extra bit of belief….weird? Yes. Harmful? No.

So, do YOU believe?

11
Aug
09

Spin baby, spin!

In the name of posting more often, and about things not always related to singleness, let me  say this…

spin_classI’ve becoming addicted to spin class.

Let me start by saying that never in a billion years did I think that I would ever be someone who enjoys going to the gym. I was never athletic as a child; never played sports or got involved in teams. Got teased in gym class and was a total music geek at school. To this day, I’m sure this has significantly contributed to my low self-esteem, which in turn – has contributed to my feelings about being single and what it means. After I started to believe that I wasn’t athletic, I never wanted to try anything even remotely physical for fear of embarrassment. Needless to say, going to the gym was never a top priority on my list – I was convinced that everyone would just look at me like I didn’t belong there.

About 2 and a half years ago, my Mom decided to join the gym Curves. I had just left home, and she convinced me that a) not only should I be doing something physical to stay healthy and in shape, but b) it would be a good opportunity for us to meet up a few times a week. I started going about three times a week, and really enjoyed it. I felt better that I was doing something to stay healthy, and it was the most non-intimidating gym experience ever – all women, and most were about 40+. But, after about 2 years, I felt like I wasn’t getting much out of it, and the circuit was starting to get boring. I was TERRIFIED to join a regular gym, with crazy, in-shape people. But when I weighed the options (ex. the membership was significantly less with the corporate discount they offered, and it’s literally just down the street) I decided to just bit the bullet and do it.

Now – I love it.

Don’t get me wrong – I was NOT in good shape, and am still not really in good shape (I’ve been a member for about 6 weeks). But I feel SO GOOD when I come out! I love to sweat, and I can do whatever I want – classes, machines, weights  – my friend A. has been a big help in showing me some exercises that I can do to target certain areas. It’s key to do this or get a personal trainer if you want to get the most out of a membership.

I was completely convinced I would never try spinning/cycle – I’ve seen it on TV and movies, and it scared the crap out of me. People racing on stationary bikes, instructors yelling and screaming – not for me. However, my Mom and I bit the bullet and tried a beginner spin class one night – and I’ve been hooked every since. Turns out, it’s not that I’m not athletic at all! Sports was just never my thing. I’ve discovered that I love being pushed, I love sweating my face off – and the instructor is awesome and NOT scary. She makes the class fun, engaging and given that she’s not your typical ‘gym bunny’ instructor, it’s much less intimidating. And no, I can’t do everything that everyone else in the class does. Sometimes, I can’t do the full resistance and I can’t do all the reps – I have to take breaks or slow down now and then. But – I can always do more than I think I can, and that’s been a really pleasant surprise…

All this to say that going to the gym regularly has really helped me in the whole ‘concentrating on myself’ thing. I feel great when I get out of class, and find that it’s helping to very slowly, slowly increase my confidence and the way I feel about myself. It’s also given me something else to focus on, and a good way to spend my alone time instead of lamenting about my lonely, single life. Here’s hoping that I can continue to focus on me for awhile – as much as I love spin now, it’s really only been 6 weeks – totally possible this is just a honeymoon phase, but I’ll keep you posted.

I guess the moral of this post is step outside your comfort zone. Do something that you might not think you like. Focus on yourself for awhile. You might be surprised at the results…

05
Jul
09

Working Girl

workinggirlI have been significantly MIA lately. Mostly because I’ve been making a conscious effort NOT to think about dating. It kills me when people always tell single folks: “As soon as you stop thinking about it, BAM!” – because I don’t know about the rest of you, but when I’m trying not to think about it, I’m thinking about it. And when I’m surrounded by people who aren’t single, I’m thinking about it. So really…I’m ALWAYS thinking about it. Nonetheless, I’ve gone back on the dating diet. More-so because I’m just starting to lose hope a little, and I’m not really sure what else to do…it takes a lot of effort to stay positive about the dating scene when the single men that you DO meet make you go: “Really? Is this what I have to choose from?”

It brings me to the point of this blog. How much work should dating really be? How much effort should one really have to put into finding someone? I’ve done the online dating thing (more than once). I’ve done speed dating. I’ve spread the word to friends about my willingness to be set-up (to the point where I even feel like I’m being annoying and obnoxious), and have been on numerous blind dates. I try to put myself in situations where I can meet new people. I’ve done the bar scene. How many more avenues do I need to exhaust? Everyone says there are good single guys out there  – and I believe there are but – how hard should one have to work to find them??? Are us singe girls at a point where we have to make our dating life a full-time job, if we really want to be committed to finding someone? I know an ex-colleague who admitted to quitting her job (where I worked) and moving to the “big city” – because she wanted to meet someone. And you know what? That was two years ago, and she is still single. I mean…is this something I actually need to e thinking about??  Moving just to meet someone? And I wouldn’t say I live in a ‘small town’ either. I have simply gotten to the point where I’m starting to wonder if there’s anything more I can really do. I feel like I’ve exhausted a lot of avenues, and it’s just not happening for me – for whatever reason. I’m starting to wish that an answer would just shoot down from the sky – am I supposed to be somewhere at a certain time to meet the man of my dreams? Did I say ‘no’ to an event and miss the opportunity all together? Was there someone else I was supposed to befriend, who would have introduced us? Am I not at the job I’m supposed to be at for meeting the right person? Am I not living in the right city where I’m eventually supposed to meet my dream guy? I am thoroughly starting to understand why people participate in shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette – great, successful, hand-picked guys, just for you, from all over the country. But – is this where we’re at? Single girls needed to compete on reality shows just to find a guy? Man….

And  the longer I’m single, the more lonely I get. And the more lonely I get, the more I get into the living on my own/no-one else to think about/single girl routine – and that scares the crap out of me. Because the more I get comfortable with having my own life, doing my own thing, having my own routine – the more I’m scared that I won’t be able to adjust to having someone else in it – and I’ll be self-consciously afraid of letting anyone new into my life and comfort zone. I’m already scared that I’ve been so incredibly hurt and rejected by a particular handful of guys in my life that I’ll never let myself feel that for anyone again – and what if that’s why I’m still single? That sub-consciously, my heart just can’t survive the hurt again and therefore is not letting me “go there” with anyone new. How do you get past something like that, especially when that risk always exists in any potential relationship? So really – will I ever be able to let myself ‘go there’ again? Will it ever matter how hard I work at finding someone, because the result will still be the same? I don’t know…..I feel like all that leaves me with is the need to give up and stop trying – so let the dating diet continue.

10
May
09

For Mom

Well, this post has nothing to do with being single….my life has been rather boring and uneventful lately, leaving me with little inspiration for posts. But, in honour of Mother’s Day today, I had to post the poem that I found. It reminded me of my Mom, and I hope you enjoy it! I couldn’t found who wrote it…

To all you Mean Mom’s.

Someday when my children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will
tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you
enough to ask where you were going, with whom,
and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you
discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to make you go pay for the
bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk, “I
stole this yesterday and want to pay for it.”

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours
while you cleaned your room, a job that should have
taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger,
disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must
learn that their parents aren’t perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the
responsibility for your actions even when the
penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all. I’m
glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates parents, you
will tell them.

Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the
meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids
ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal,
eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a
Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you
can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all
times. You’d think we were convicts in a prison. She
had to know who our friends were, and what we were
doing with them. She insisted that if we said we
would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an
hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve
to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We
had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to
cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash
and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie
awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the
whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time
we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had
eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really
tough!

Mother wouldn’t let our friends just honk the horn
when they drove up. They had to come up to the door
so she could meet them. While everyone else could
date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until
we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of
things other kids experienced. None of us have ever
been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other’s
property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all
her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated,
honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean
parents just like Mom was.

I think that is what’s wrong with the world today.
It just doesn’t have enough mean moms!

Happy Mother’s Day Mom! I love you!




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