Posts Tagged ‘Picky


the men in my life

Last week, I spent a night out at the mall doing some Christmas shopping with my Dad. We ran around trying to get some gifts taken care of, and enjoyed a nice gourmet dinner in the mall food court. I had such a good time hanging out with him and chatting, just the two of us. When I still lived at home, there was usually about an hour in between the time that my Mom and brother got home that Dad and I would chat, and start getting dinner ready. Having lived on my own for a couple of years now, it’s rare that my Dad and I spend a lot of time together, just him and me.

After I got home that night, it donned on me. I have some pretty amazing men in my life. My Dad is one of them. My brother is another. They’re two of the most sincere, genuine, kind, funny and caring men I have ever known. My Dad would do anything for me – truly. And my brother….he’s wise beyond his years, and someone that I, despite being his older sister, really look up to. You’d be hard pressed to find anyone who would have a bad word to say about either or them. My Dad has no problem starting spontaneous conversations with the most random people – from the sales guy at the GAP, to the vendors at the market he goes to every day for lunch (he’s on a first-name basis with all of them). He has such a genuinely warm personality and this honest sense of humour, that people immediately feel comfortable around him, and it doesn’t take long for him to earn their trust and respect. People really can’t help but love him.

That being said, it makes it easier for me to understand why I’m still single. There’s nothing I hate more than when people accuse ‘singles’ of being picky. Sure, some of them are. But my expectations are reasonable, and I refuse to lower them. I have grown-up with some amazing men who have shown me what it means to be a good man – to be kind and thoughtful, strong but not macho, sensitive but not weak, confident but not cocky, and successful at managing the important relationships in life. AND – good to the women they love and care about. Having grown up with models like that, how could I settle for anything less? John Mayer sums it up better than I ever could here. Enjoy.

“On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world…

Fathers be good to your daughters.
Daughters will love like you do.
Girls become lovers, who turn into mothers.
So Fathers be good to your daughters too.”


If you’ve ever been hit on…this is for you.

I hate email forwards. My friends and family know this, so whenever they DO send me one, I know it’s either pretty funny or pretty insightful. My brother sent me a great one today and since it relates to being single/finding guys, I had to post it. I feel two ways about it though. You either listen to this and think: “Thank GOD I’m still single instead of with some loser like this.” Or – “Oh Lord – is this what’s out there for me to choose from.”  Of course, as most email forwards are, this could be a total hoax – and for the sake of single girls everywhere, let’s hope it is!

The story is this:  a girl was out with friends having drinks on X street in (insert city here). This guy approaches her and won’t leave her alone -saying how cute she is. She finally gives in  and hands the guy her business card to get rid of him.  Below is an MP3 file of not one, but TWO voicemails this guy left. This goes down  in the history books – especially the second voice mail. After hearing them you can clearly see why she didn’t call him back – instead  she called in to the local morning radio show and had them play this on the air.
Ladies: this  is what’s out there…. So have a listen…laugh, and thank your lucky  stars you are either single, in a relationship, or not with this guy….

Dimitri The Stud


Round Two?

Today I got an email from eHarmony. I had tried it out around this time last year for about 6 months, but gave up on the whole scene without much luck. I ended up going out on dates with two different guys I met on there – both perfectly nice, but as usual – no chemistry. I swore that I was going to give up on the whole blind dating/online dating scene because I have NEVER pursued anyone I went on a blind date with (and I’ve been on quite a few) and I’ve just never felt or believed that it was the way I’m going to meet someone. I always dreaded the dates, and got really sick of being disappointed. I also decided I was going to start taking the “reactive” dating approach, instead of the “proactive” approach – I started to think that maybe I was just trying and wishing too hard, and that if I just gave up on actively pursuing dates, something would happen the ‘natural’ way.eharmony-logo

But – you know those eHarmony commercials??? MAN! It makes the whole thing look so promising and it’s hard not to be encouraged by those really cute couples! And of course, they haven’t stopped harassing me to renew my membership since I quit, and they have dropped the monthly price so low to get me to sign-up again. I’m considering renewing my membership, but taking a slightly different approach this time. I would love to have my good friends/family write up my profile – after all, they know me better than anyone. THEN – I’d let them review my matches and decide which ones I should pursue. Obviously, I don’t seem to be doing a very good job of picking people out, and I’m the first to admit that I can be picky (although – I still argue that my expectations are NOT unreasonable, and that there is just a shortage of really good, SINGLE men out there.) But, maybe having others choose for me would open my mind a little more….

I’m looking for advice – what do you think loyal readers? Should I give this another go? Or give the ‘natural’ way a little more time?


Slim Pickins

The other night, the movie “Along Came Polly” was on TV. I didn’t realize until seeing it again that JD is pretty much the spitting image of Ben Stiller. Not just in looks, but in his mannerisms too. A little bit on the geeky side, rambles a bit, somewhat awkward…

When I went to the movies the other night with B & C, I mentioned this to them. B’s response was: “Really? I think Ben Stiller is pretty cute!”, which was followed by my “Are you serious?” face. She said, “I can’t believe you think Ben Stiller is ugly!”, to which I responded with: “Whoa. Don’t put words in my  mouth. I didn’t say he was ugly. I just don’t find him attractive.”  And for the record, I DO believe that there IS a difference. But then, B said to me (insert eye-role): “You’re just too picky.”  PAUSE.

Perhaps she just got me on a wrong night, but this really pissed me off at that particular moment in time. She started going on about how I supposedly think that I’m going to find love at first sight, and that I expect it to be sparks and fireworks instantly. Ummm….who said anything about that!?!? Never once did I say or imply that’s what I expected. I am a grown-up after all, and I know better. I’m not living in a fairytale. Sorry if I don’t want to jump the bones of every guy I go on a date with. So sue me. And by the way, did I mention that I worked with her brother for four months before we even went on a date or I found him even remotely attractive!? Of course I told her this, which she just shrugged off.

And on another note, umm….shouldn’t I be picky!? What happened to “you should never settle”? I guess if I wanted an OK guy, with a medium personality, who sometimes talked, and kind of cared about me, and who kissed me like he was more like my relative than my lover – then I wouldn’t need to waste time being “picky”. Sounds great – sign me up! (Insert sarcasm here.) I know B. didn’t mean anything by her comment, and I’m probably being too sensitive. But it did come out a bit judgmental – and until you’ve walked a mile in a single girl’s shoes (for four years no less), you can’t fully understand how difficult it can be sometimes.

I guess it’s just frustrating to hear “you’re too picky” when I feel like I’m scraping the barrel to even date a guy who meets the most minimum of expectations like: carry a conversation, have a job, do more with his spare time than play video games or get drunk/high with his buddies (yes – for real). Are those expectations really so high? Do I not deserve to be picky? I would even argue that I am NOT picky – I am REASONABLE.

So, before telling your friends that they’re too picky, think about what they deserve. And remember that maybe….the pickins are just slim.


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