Posts Tagged ‘Weddings

30
Oct
09

and then there was one

It’s official. My friends are married. I am now the only single in our group of 9. C&A’s wedding was absolutely beautiful – stunning. And I had a ton of fun. It also marked my last (and 6th) duty as a bridesmaid/maid of honour. It’s a lot of work and time being in a wedding, but the day-of is always so much fun. So, as excited as I am to be done with the stress of the costs and planning, it’s strange not to have a wedding to look forward to being in. Actually, for the first time in I don’t know how long, I don’t have ANY weddings on my calendar – none to be in, and none to go to. I think my bank account could use the break 🙂

Lonely_boat_by_jordanrusevOf course, now that these weddings are over – all talk has turned to babies. I didn’t think it would happen so fast, but the couples that I know have been together for a long time (since high-school for most of them), and many of them living together for awhile so they don’t see the need to wait. As excited as I am for my friends to start this part of their lives, it’s hard not to feel like they’ve set sail on a ship that I’m not on; like I’m on a completely different ship, going in the opposite direction.

As bad as this might sound, I was actually looking forward to getting back to our ‘normal’ lives and conversations again – we’ve had three weddings in our group in the last year and a half, so there’s been a lot of wedding talk. A LOT. Don’t get me wrong – I enjoyed helping two of my best friends plan their weddings. But, I find it difficult sometimes to continually have conversations about things that don’t apply to me, or that I can’t contribute to. Already, talk has turned to the dos and don’ts of pregnancy, getting pregnant, having babies etc, etc so it feels like the cycle is starting all over again.

As a 27 year-old single woman, I want to talk about the dos and don’ts of dating, and work, and careers and travel – so I can’t help but feel like I’m at a completely different life stage than the rest of my friends. I love going out with my single girlfriends (the two that I have!) We have much more in common, and share similar stories and can relate to each other – not just about being single, but about our interests, our plans, our jobs etc. The good thing is that I’m content with that – I don’t want to get married right now. I don’t want to be pregnant. I don’t want to be at that life stage yet. I want do the ‘single things’ now, and save the other stuff for later; there’s still plenty of time for me to do all that. But it scares me – because I’m afraid that these differences in interests, and life stages and conversations are going to separate me from my other, very close friends. Because as happy as I am for them, it’s difficult. It’s difficult to feel like I’m behind – when really – I’m not! But they now have all these shared experiences in common, and I don’t. And while I can’t imagine not being there when the babies start arriving, I’m feeling a little left out; like the rest of them will have these common bonds and experiences that I can’t share in. I’m sure my fears are unwarranted, but it’s hard to say what will happen – friends have gone their separate ways over much less. Funny part is, I don’t have this fear about my relationships with each couple individually; I only find it difficult when we’re all in a group and talking about this kind of stuff.

Safe to say, the relationship dynamics of our group will probably change – but here’s hoping that my friends will let me take a sail on their boat once and awhile, and hopefully they’ll want to sail on mine.

22
Oct
09

Friend.

My best friend is getting married on Saturday. And I can’t wait.

Despite the fact that I have had somewhat of an emotionally tough time making it through weddings this year, this one gives me no trepidation or anxiety whatsoever. I am beyond excited to celebrate this day with them, and even more excited that I get to be a part of it as C’s Maid of Honour. She has picked a great guy – and I’m so lucky that A. has become such a good friend to me as well. It’s great that I get to cap off my bridal party duties (this is number six) with two of my favourite people.

I really struggled trying to write my speech because C. has been such an amazing friend to me, and I wasn’t sure I could find the words to tell her just how much her support means to me. I hope that I have. There are a few surprises up my sleeve as well 🙂

C. is going to be the most beautiful bride ever – AND – she has the classiest taste, so I know that everything is going to look fantastic. She had a bit of bad luck today, and I am praying that things will work themselves out by Saturday. She deserves to have this day be perfect.

I love you C. and I can’t wait for Saturday!

11
Oct
09

Spoke too soon

As per my previous post, I may have jinxed myself.

I apparently thought I was OK with the whole X/GF situation. But regardless of whether I am or  not, going to a wedding where you are single and your ex is there with a new girlfriend, SUCKS. And unfortuantely, going home alone after it is even worse. Not feeling in a fesitve, Thanksgivingy mood….

08
Apr
09

…and Guest.

wedding-inviteOk – why is it that two such tiny, insignificant words on a wedding invitation can send me into a bitter state of annoyance? It’s not like I’ve never got ‘and Guest’ on a wedding invitation before, but I’m usually IN the wedding party and therefore don’t really feel affected by the need to have someone else there with me. I get to sit at the head table (ex. not with other couples) and have duties to fulfill that keep my mind occupied. I’ve also been invited to a lot of weddings where I haven’t got an ‘and Guest’ – mostly because I come from a HUGE immediate family on my mom’s side, and an Italian family on my Dad’s side – so with so many people, it’s not unusual for many of us not to get an ‘and Guest’ unless you’re in a long-term, serious relationship. But, the other day I got one of my first ‘and Guest’ wedding invitations for two friends of mine, where I am NOT in the wedding party and will have no family there. I’m not sure if it was just the day I was having, or the mood I was in, but I immediately started to dread having to go to the wedding alone, and for no sane or legitimate reason whatsoever….felt frustrated and annoyed.

It could be worse – the wedding is for two friends of mine, and pretty much all of my best friends will be there (B&C at the head table, and C&A at my table). But I know I’ll also be stuck at a table with D&J – that couple from high school that I can’t stand. And probably the significant others of the other peeps in the wedding party. Knowing that my best friend C. and her fiancee A. will be at my table is an immediate relief – but being the only single one at a wedding can be pretty depressing. If I thought this wedding was an opportunity to meet someone, it wouldn’t be so bad – but this definitely isn’t that type of wedding.

I’m dreading it so much that I’ve actually considered asking X to be my date. (All my friends and family who are reading this are cringing right now…I know). But, I’ve been his ‘back-up’ date to weddings before, and he knows this couple (in addition to his sister and brother-in-law who will also be there) so it wouldn’t be completely random. What would this accomplish? Uhh…mostly just remind me that I’m not the only single person left in the world in a moment where everyone I know is in the process of committing their life to someone (oh…AND give me someone to slow dance with). What else would this accomplish? Well – he will probably disappoint me with his less than enthusiastic behavior about being there, will be miserable all night, bail early, and will probably end up making me feel worse that I invited him….resulting in me, once again, remembering why breaking up was the best decision we ever made.

Yep – definitely not a good idea. ….but ugh.

19
Jan
09

Marrying Me

For those of you experiencing these frigid Canadian temperatures sweeping through the country right now, you’ll understand why I locked myself inside and hibernated this weekend. As I was flipping through the oh-so-exciting Saturday afternoon TV, I cam across this super cheesey, made-for-TV movie called “I Me Wed.” Despite the cheese factor, the premise behind the movie was actually kind of inspiring.

After constantly having to defend why she’s single to all of her friends, the protagonist decides that she’s going to marry herself. Literally. At first, it’s just because she’s sick of people constantly trying to set her up or find out why she’s still single – particularly because she enjoys being single and has no desire to get married. Then, it becomes a bit more about trying to make this statement: that being single does not mean there is something wrong with you. That being married or in a couple should NOT be an expectation. And that being married or in a couple does not define who you are. So – she buys a wedding dress, sends out invitations and hires her best gay friend as her wedding planner. Of course, through the course of all this, she meets a young, handsome, ‘ not-her-type’ contractor, and ends up marrying him in the end….too. But – let’s just forget about that part…weddings-in-vienna-11

On a boring Saturday afternoon, the movie got me thinking. The concept of marrying yourself IS kind of inspiring.  Think about the purpose of getting married – committing your life to someone you love more than anyone; vowing to love, honour and cherish, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, until….death do you part? (OK – most of it fits).

The question is: why shouldn’t single girls be committing themselves to this?? Even just the concept of it is something single girls should strive for (myself included) – we should commit to doing all of those things to ourselves! Maybe we SHOULD create an occasion to celebrate our singlness!? Why NOT buy a fancy dress and have your friends over for a party? Why not register somewhere nice and have people bring you gifts to celebrate your OWN life?? Just because we’re living single doesn’t mean we don’t need china, nice dishes and a waffle iron too…

The funniest thing about all of this is that I actually Googled ‘how to marry yourself.’ Turns out, there is a TON of stuff out there about people who are trying to follow this very concept! So, who knows – don’t be surprised if you someday find yourself getting an invite to a wedding for a couple named “me and myself!”

SIDE NOTE: For those of you in the USA – us Canadians might steal your President for ourselves! So looking forward to watching the history-making inauguration tomorrow….enjoy!

07
Jan
09

Always a bridesmaid…

uglydressI know many of you gals out there will be able to relate to this post. I spent the last weekend of my holiday ‘bridesmaidsing’ for my cousin, who just got married at the age of 37. Her husband is fantastic and I couldn’t be happier for her. Never mind the fact that I had to wear a halter bridesmaid dress in the middle of a Canadian Winter! But – this was the 5th bridesmaid dress for me. (Between four of us bridesmaids and the bride, we’d been in almost 50 weddings!) And the longer I’m single, the harder it gets NOT to be envious of those who are lucky enough to have found someone that they truly want to spend the rest of their lives with.

Don’t get me wrong, I am always honoured when people want me to be part of their day. I pride myself on being a good friend, and it means a lot to me that people value my friendship that much. Everyone I have stood up for has been someone who means the world to me. Aside from the sometimes emotionally difficult parts of the day, it’s always a fun experience and I never regret it or wish I wasn’t part of it. As flattering as it is to participate in so many weddings, I’m finding it difficult now that all of my closest friends seem to be getting married within a really short time frame – a year and a half to be exact – three couples, and my cousin. Inevitably, whenever I get together with this group of friends, talk usually turns to the latest updates on the wedding planning process, cost comparisons and dress dramas. It was OK for awhile, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t kind of tired of talking about other people’s weddings….and the talk seems to go on, and on, and on….anytime I try and change the topic, somehow we get back to wedding planning again.

The thing I hate the most is that I feel guilty for feeling this way. My friends SHOULD be able to talk about their weddings and compare stories – it’s super exciting times for them and it’s really not about me. Sometimes, I just wish they’d recognize how long and how much they talk about it, and that it’s difficult for me because I can’t relate. My saving grace is my best friend C. She tends to be quite in tune with my emotions, and can usually tell when I’m hitting my limit. She can always be counted on to engage me in another conversation or to change the subject when group wedding talk gets out of hand. Probably because she’s one of the very few who truly knows my emotional struggles and feelings about being single. I will be her Maid of Honour in October and I can’t wait. We are truly having a fun time planning everything, and I’m so happy I can be there for her – she keeps me involved always, and knows that our one-on-one wedding talk is much more fun and less overwhelming for me. And at the end of the day, it really isn’t about me – I just want her to have the best day possible. Shout-out C! Love ya.

As crazy and ‘desperate’ as this might sound – and as much as I don’t want to admit it – I don’t want to be 37 when I get married. uglydress21I admire and and envy the single women who are A-OK being 30-something, or 40-something and single. I hope I will be able to get there. For those who are there, what’s the secret to accepting it and being happy? But in the mean time, I wish that I could partciapte in all this wedding stuff at the same time as my friends. I feel like by the time it’s my turn, they’ll have too many other thing going on in their lives (kids, careers, homes, husbands etc.) that the experience won’t be the same for me as it was for them. Right now, the whole getting married thing is new and fun – by the time it’s my turn, it feels like it will be old hat. The thing is, I’m only 27! So why do I feel like I’m behind?

This is a sob story post if ever I’ve seen one, but if you can’t share the miseries of being single with other single girls, then who can you share with? 🙂 With that, I’m off to embrace my inner bridesmaid with a viewing of 27 Dresses.

P.S. Update to my last post – C. and I had the best New Year’s. We made a super fancy meal (including rack of lamb and fondue) and enjoyed champagne, great girl chat and a really memorable night. I hope that all of you enjoyed a wonderful New Year’s and wish you happy singledom in 2009!

05
Nov
08

Sometimes, things just go wrong…

This blog post title is a bit deceiving – this is not a depressing post in the least. In fact, it’s the exact opposite and hopefully as good a laugh for the rest of you as it was for me. While I’ve been a bridesmaid in my share of weddings, I’ve never had to deal with a controlling Bridezilla. But, here’s the exact reason that I think it’s important that all brides realize that you can’t control everything on your wedding day. Sometimes things just go wrong and you have to go with the flow. In addition, be careful how much you spend on that dress and all the other ‘nice-to-haves’. While an important day, it IS just a day – and you never know what might go wrong…




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